Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.
Children
using their smartphones
for a long time
daily is an essential topic to discuss and analyze at the same time
that most people
are engaged daily. In the recent time
, this
point is important. Otherwise
, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of using smartphones
for a long time
daily for children
.
There are some distinctive benefits of using smartphones
. First,
people
get information and develop their learning skills. There have been immense advances in using smartphones
in most aspects of the lives of children
. In other words
, it is active in every realm of society
. Individuals believe in the role of using smartphones
in society
. It will impact in a positive way on children
. Second,
children
contact easily their parents if the parents are at work. I work as a host aviation, and I understand that smartphones
are very necessary for people
. When I travel to several countries, I discover the importance of using smartphones
in their societies. A new study from the University of London shows that about 74% of children
around the world use smartphones
and have lots of information in different fields.
On the other side, there are myriad negatives. One of them is that using smartphones
may affect children
's performance at school. Facts in this
field have proved that it has an impact on society
. Also
, using smartphones
for a long time
daily may affect social communication for children
, for instance
, children
prefer to play video games more than hang out with their family. Some important research proves that it regularly causes dangerous problems. Consequently
, these are the major reasons why a vast number of people
go to other options.
To sum up
, using smartphones
has brought many benefits to society
. However
, it is likely to produce many negative effects soon, but people
cannot stop depending on it.Submitted by walkuwari11 on
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task achievement
Work on refining your ideas and examples to be more specific and relevant. Avoid overly general statements and try to tie examples more closely to your main points.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay logically. Begin by clearly stating your position in the introduction, develop your ideas in the body paragraphs, and reiterate your perspective in the conclusion. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Expand your range of supporting points. You can balance your essay better by providing a similar number of positive aspects to negative ones.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and provide clearer reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which demonstrates a clear understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
You address both the positive and negative aspects of children using smartphones, fulfilling the essay topic's requirements.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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