Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development.

Children
using their
smartphones
for a long
time
daily is an essential topic to discuss and analyze at the same
time
that most
people
are engaged daily. In the recent
time
,
this
point is important.
Otherwise
, it is controversial. It is important to speak about the pros and cons of using
smartphones
for a long
time
daily for
children
. There are some distinctive benefits of using
smartphones
.
First,
people
get information and develop their learning skills. There have been immense advances in using
smartphones
in most aspects of the lives of
children
.
In other words
, it is active in every realm of
society
. Individuals believe in the role of using
smartphones
in
society
. It will impact in a positive way on
children
.
Second,
children
contact easily their parents if the parents are at work. I work as a host aviation, and I understand that
smartphones
are very necessary for
people
. When I travel to several countries, I discover the importance of using
smartphones
in their societies. A new study from the University of London shows that about 74% of
children
around the world use
smartphones
and have lots of information in different fields. On the other side, there are myriad negatives. One of them is that using
smartphones
may affect
children
's performance at school. Facts in
this
field have proved that it has an impact on
society
.
Also
, using
smartphones
for a long
time
daily may affect social communication for
children
,
for instance
,
children
prefer to play video games more than hang out with their family. Some important research proves that it regularly causes dangerous problems.
Consequently
, these are the major reasons why a vast number of
people
go to other options.
To sum up
, using
smartphones
has brought many benefits to
society
.
However
, it is likely to produce many negative effects soon, but
people
cannot stop depending on it.
Submitted by walkuwari11 on

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task achievement
Work on refining your ideas and examples to be more specific and relevant. Avoid overly general statements and try to tie examples more closely to your main points.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay logically. Begin by clearly stating your position in the introduction, develop your ideas in the body paragraphs, and reiterate your perspective in the conclusion. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Expand your range of supporting points. You can balance your essay better by providing a similar number of positive aspects to negative ones.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments and provide clearer reasoning.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which demonstrates a clear understanding of essay structure.
task achievement
You address both the positive and negative aspects of children using smartphones, fulfilling the essay topic's requirements.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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