Your sister has asked you to organize the music for her wedding at the end of next month. Write a letter to your friend who is an amateur musician. In your letter ● ask your friend to perform at the wedding ● describe why he/she would be suitable for this event : he done events and play band in many wedding ● explain how your friend will be compensated if they agree.: we will provide you free tickets for maldives and support from another singer

#sister #music #month #friend #amateur #musician #event #events #band #tickets #maldives #support #singer

Dear Annie, I hope you are doing well. I'm over the moon

by giving

Change preposition

to give

show examples

you

news

Add an article

the news

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that my sister getting married next month and she wants me to ask you

that

Correct word choice

apply

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if you can perform

Change preposition

show examples

her wedding. Well! You've

great

Correct article usage

a great

show examples

band team and your team performed with the International Stars.

Also

, everyone is

fan

Add an article

a fan

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of your singing in my family .

Therefore

, I do not want to ask anyone else except you and it would be a great opportunity for you to perform at her wedding because

other famous artist

Change the wording

another famous artist

other famous artists

show examples

like Daljit Dosanj

also

Add a missing verb

were also

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invited . If you perform in front of big

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

then

it would be a great deal for you to get feedback from

professional

Fix the agreement mistake

professionals

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as well. I hope you would say yes to me because my whole family is

fan

Add an article

a fan

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of your

punjabi

Change the capitalization

Punjabi

show examples

music. If you would like to perform at her wedding

then

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

definitely try to set up your meeting with your favourite artist and I'll pay for our 2

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

trip to Maldives which we planned earlier for next year. I'm waiting for your reply and I hope you will say yes to me. Best wishes, Roopkamal Kaur.

Submitted by kmlchahal97 on Thu Sep 05 2024

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language

Make sure to proofread for minor language errors like missing articles and misplaced punctuation to improve readability.

coherence

Try to enhance the logical flow and clarity by clearly separating different points into distinct paragraphs.

task

Provide more specific details on how the performance is expected to be organized to enhance response completeness.

tone

The letter maintains a friendly and suitable tone for the context, which is important for informal letters.

structure

The letter includes a proper greeting and closing, which is essential for coherence and cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

197 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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