Your sister has asked you to organize the music for her wedding at the end of next month. Write a letter to your friend who is an amateur musician. In your letter ● ask your friend to perform at the wedding ● describe why he/she would be suitable for this event ● explain how your friend will be compensated if they agree.

#sister #music #month #friend #amateur #musician #event

Dear Annie, I hope you are doing well. I'm over the moon to give you the news that my sister getting married next month and she wants me to ask you if you can perform at her wedding. Well!

You've

Change the wording

You have

You have got

You've got

show examples

a great band team and your team performed with the International Stars.

Also

, everyone is a fan of your singing in my family .

Therefore

, I do not want to ask anyone else except you and it would be a great opportunity for you to perform at her wedding because

another

Correct quantifier usage

other

show examples

famous

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

like Daljit Dosanj were

also

invited . If you perform in front of big artists

then

it would be a great deal for you to get feedback from professionals as well. I hope you

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

say yes to me because my whole family is a fan of your Punjabi music. If you would like to perform at her wedding

then

we will definitely try to set up your meeting with your favourite artist and I'll pay for our

2 day

Add a hyphen

2-day

show examples

trip to Maldives which we planned earlier for next year. I'm waiting for your reply and I hope you will say yes to me. Best wishes, Roopkamal Kaur.

Submitted by kmlchahal97 on Thu Sep 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea and should flow smoothly from one to the next.

task achievement

Work on using a precise and formal writing tone, especially for an occasion as important as a wedding.

task achievement

You have successfully addressed all parts of the task, asking your friend to perform at the wedding, explaining why they would be suitable, and how they would be compensated.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing are appropriate and friendly, which suits the context of writing to a friend.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

201 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

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