In the past when students did a university degree they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays they have morw opportunity to study abroad. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

It is often argued that these days
lots
of
students
prefer to study abroad than domestic school. From my perspective, the benefits of the issue are greater than the drawbacks since they could get experiences
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
cultural and global networking skills.
To begin
with, I accept that there are many good points attending university in their own
country
.
Firstly
, when
students
need to
participated
Change the verb
participate
show examples
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
langueges
Correct your spelling
language
languages
courses, they can easily access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many subjects
thoughout
Correct your spelling
throughout
online
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
the advent of
digital
Add an article
the digital
a digital
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
for education.
For example
, Google recently
provied
Correct your spelling
provided
provide
the high quilty online classes to users.
Therefore
, many
companied
Correct your spelling
companies
show examples
and university
students
can be available access better educational resources,
unique
Correct word choice
and unique
show examples
courses in their home
country
regardless of time and
places
Fix the agreement mistake
place
show examples
.
Also
,
students
attending school in their own
country
can save money since studying
aborad
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
to
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
of cost. The total budget of attending university in other
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
is too high demand because of housing, living and so on. Meanwhile,
students
who live in their home
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
do not need to pay
housing
Change preposition
for housing
show examples
, so they can save
lots
of money than
aborad
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
students
.
On the other hand
, I am convinced that studying abroad
offer
Change the verb form
offers
show examples
many
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
and opportunities. First of all, Many
students
choose
Correct pronoun usage
who choose
show examples
to study abroad have
lots
of
chance
Fix the agreement mistake
chances
show examples
to experience different cultural exposure, which can be instrumental in personal growth and enhancing adaptability.
Moreover
,
according to
studying in a foreign
country
,
students
can make a
vriety
Correct your spelling
variety
of
frieds
Correct your spelling
friends
and classmates. Building a global network can open up career opportunities and create life connections. In conclusion, Immersing oneself in a new environment is a great
imfact
Correct your spelling
impact
in their life including many cultural experiences and global networking.
Hence
, the value of studying
aborad
Correct your spelling
abroad
show examples
is under
estimaterd
Correct your spelling
estimated
.
Submitted by jihyei0910 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports your thesis statement. Some points seemed less connected to the main argument.
task achievement
Core ideas should be developed with more specific examples and detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing transitions between paragraphs and ideas to improve coherence and the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a consistent and logical structure throughout the essay. Some parts seemed slightly disjointed.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to language accuracy, including grammar and syntax, to make the essay more polished.
task achievement
Your essay presented a balanced view, considering both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively framed your argument, providing a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural exposure
  • Personal growth
  • Cultural sensitivity
  • Adaptability
  • Educational resources
  • Prestigious institutions
  • Networking
  • Global network
  • Career opportunities
  • Independence
  • Self-reliance
  • Problem-solving
  • Time management
  • Language skills
  • Global job market
What to do next:
Look at other essays: