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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below shows in the number of international students in Australia in 2019 and 2020.

The chart below shows in the number of international students in Australia in 2019 and 2020.
The bar chart shows changes in the amount of multinational pupils in Australia between 2019 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly seen that the most international student
came
Correct pronoun usage
who came
show examples
 to Australia was China,
while
Linking Words
 Malaysia had the lowest number of
students
Use synonyms
 coming to
this
Linking Words
 country.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, China
students
Use synonyms
 came to Australia
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 study the most in 182
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2019 and 167.568 in 2020. Regarding India's pupils they
the
Add a missing verb
had the
show examples
 second highest number of international
students
Use synonyms
 around 108
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2020 and 92
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2019. Turning to Nepal
students
Use synonyms
 they were almost the same in both years 46
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2019 and 50
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2020. Vietnam, Brazil and Malaysia were at least in
this
Linking Words
 category. Vietnam
students
Use synonyms
 were 22
thousand
Use synonyms
 in 2019 and they rose marginally to 23
thousand
Use synonyms
 a year later. With regards to the other three nations, there was an approximate 2.000 decline in the number of
students
Use synonyms
 from Brazil and Malaysia to 22.000 and 19.500 respectively.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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