IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
it is argued that many developed
countries
Use synonyms
 help the developing
countries
Use synonyms
 with basic amenities like
food
Use synonyms
 and education.
However
Linking Words
, some conflicts maintain a strong bond between
nations
Use synonyms
. The following paragraph illustrates the reasons and examples.
Firstly
Linking Words
, everyone needs harmony and maintain good relationships with
others
Use synonyms
 to become a developed country.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in between the
countries
Use synonyms
, many products are exported and many
others
Use synonyms
 imported because the earth is covered with full resources in Asian
countries
Use synonyms
 there are four seasons they export fruits and vegetables
while
Linking Words
 in Arabic
countries
Use synonyms
 they export oil and gallons of diesel.
In addition
Linking Words
, helping poorer
nations
Use synonyms
 helps to
full
Correct your spelling
fill
show examples
 the need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and funds for educational sectors.
For instance
Linking Words
, the United States of America helps many
nations
Use synonyms
 with their money like in Africa because African people died from starvation and many
countries
Use synonyms
 provide international scholarships for the students; who are eligible for them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, helping hand with
others
Use synonyms
 is a type of investment and making good contacts with
others
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, education and
food
Use synonyms
 are never affordable in some
nations
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
; a lack of resources, unfertile soil, and low GDP.
Therefore
Linking Words
, helping
others
Use synonyms
 increases the reputation and shows a good impact on
others
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, Saudi Arabia is the richest country in the world, and their government arranged seminars and raised funds for lower cities like Azerbaijan and Uzbekistan.
to sum up
Linking Words
, big rich
nations
Use synonyms
 should help
countries
Use synonyms
 in need with
food
Use synonyms
 and education as every human deserves basic rights and to bring harmony to the world.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 will be expensive, it can be considered an investment for the future.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure with clear paragraphing. Avoid over-generalizing in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Use precise linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs. For example, "in addition" could be more effectively placed, and avoid mixing conjunctions like "due to;" for better readability.
task achievement
Include specific examples to support your points but ensure they are well-integrated into your argument and clearly explained.
task achievement
Maintain a clear focus on the task by directly addressing the points related to food and education throughout your essay. The mention of exports like oil and fruits can be less relevant to the main topic of the discussion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument. Examples like the USA helping African countries and Saudi Arabia’s assistance to Azerbaijan and Uzbekistan are pertinent.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument and reinforces the idea that helping poorer nations is valuable and beneficial.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: