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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The increase in crime rate in cities is a major concern for governments. Discuss the causes of this increase and suggest ways to reduce crime.

There is no denying the fact that nowadays, the increase in
crime
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 percentage in cities is a major concern for the government.
This
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 essay will analyze and discuss the causes of
this
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 increase and suggest
ways
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 to reduce
crime
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.
To begin
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 with, one reason for the increase in
crime
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rate
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 is poverty, when
people
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 do not have enough money to buy things that they need, they might steal things to take what they need.Another reason is that many young nations take
drugs
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 and alcohol which mostly leads to crimes like killing other families or stealing.
For example
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, if an 18-year-old boy takes
drugs
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 or alcohol daily,
as a result
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, he might kill one of the
people
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 around him without paying attention.
In addition
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 to that, many teenagers with low educational levels might commit crimes in order to find work or a better education. There are lots of
ways
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 and methods that can reduce the
crime
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rate
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 in cities,one way is offering support from governments to help societies in need, so they will not steal things to have them. Another way is to treat
people
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 who take
drugs
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 or alcohol and let them know about the effects of it on their health and body and on society. Providing a good education system may have an effect on reducing the average of crimes. In conclusion, the
crime
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rate
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 in cities is increasing,
this
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 is a major problem for governments. There are lots of reasons for that like poverty and taking
drugs
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.
As a result
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, governments need to find
ways
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 to reduce that
rate
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, and these
ways
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 may include supporting
people
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 in need.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to organize your ideas clearly with clear paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more specific examples that better demonstrate your points.
task achievement
Add more detail to your ideas to make them stronger and clearer.
positive
The introduction clearly states the topic and purpose of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • increase
  • crime
  • rate
  • cities
  • concern
  • government
  • causes
  • suggest
  • ways
  • reduce
  • poverty
  • money
  • job
  • opportunity
  • survive
  • support
  • education
  • struggle
  • work
  • behavior
  • improve
  • system
  • program
  • presence
  • drugs
  • alcohol
  • addict
  • steal
  • commit
  • habits
  • invest
  • rehabilitation
  • treatment
  • accessible
  • community
  • programs
  • disconnected
  • neighborhood
  • report
  • help
  • build
  • centers
  • organize
  • local
  • event
  • strengthen
  • bond
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