IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that students should learn a range of practical skills at school (such as car maintenance or managing money) alongside traditional subjects like maths and physics. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #students #range #skills #school #car #maintenance #money #subjects #maths #physics
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A lot of people
beleave
Correct your spelling
believe
 that students should learn some practical
skills
Use synonyms
 at school,
such
Linking Words
 as car maintenance or managing money,
instead
Linking Words
 of just learning traditional subjects like maths and physics. As far as I am concerned, juveniles should learn more practical
skills
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will discuss why learning more
day a day
Correct your spelling
day-to-day
show examples
skills
Use synonyms
 will be better than just studying
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regular subjects. Teaching the students more daily duties could increase their way to
addapt
Correct your spelling
adapt
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society when
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 end their studies.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 a lot of young people do not know how to live
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own when they get out of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school for the first time.
For example
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, in my own experience, when I finished my studies, I was not able to find a job, because I did not have the
knoledge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 or the experience to work in any place. On the other
and
Correct your spelling
hand
show examples
, most of the young generations do not know how to use money in a
propper
Correct your spelling
proper
show examples
 way, and
then
Linking Words
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 are not able to save their incomes.
this
Linking Words
 is
due to
Linking Words
 our educational
sistem
Correct your spelling
system
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 does not teach them how to manage their
fiances
Correct your spelling
finances
show examples
. As it was shown in the News on
saturday
Change the capitalization
Saturday
show examples
, a huge number of people under
twenty one
Add a hyphen
twenty-one
show examples
 years old, do not have any money to pay rent,
facilitys
Correct your spelling
facilities
facility
 or even
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
groceries. In
Correct your spelling
conclusion
conclussion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, students should study more practical
skills
Use synonyms
along with
Linking Words
 the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
regular subjects in order to understand how to be able to live
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
owns
Replace the word
own
show examples
 and to keep
Correct your spelling
studying
studyng
Correct your spelling
studying
Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on

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coherence cohesion
Consider avoiding minor spelling errors as these can slightly hinder reading flow (e.g., "beleave" should be "believe" and "addapt" should be "adapt")
coherence cohesion
Use more precise vocabulary and vary sentence structure to enhance the readability and flow of your essay.
task achievement
While your main points are clear, ensure that your supporting details are consistently strong and compelling. For instance, add more specific examples or data to bolster your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a clear viewpoint in the introduction.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion nicely summarizes your points and reiterates your stance, providing a solid end to the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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