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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people from poor and rural backgrounds find it difficult to get a university education. Universities should make it easier for such groups to enrol. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #backgrounds #university #education #universities #groups #enrol
A portion of the population from rural and poor areas frequently encounter difficulties in accessing University
education
.I totally agree with the statement for the reasons that providing
access
 to higher
education
 offers vital economic benefits and ensures equal
opportunities
 for all people. Expanding
access
 to higher
education
offers
Verb problem
plays
show examples
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 role
to develop
Change preposition
in developing
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 country in
economic
Add an article
the economic
an economic
show examples
 era.Educating individuals from diverse
background
Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
show examples
 can
enchange
Correct your spelling
change
enhance
exchange
 social cohesion and integration,leading to a more inclusive society.
For instance
,
according to
 a report by the National Center for
Education
 Statistics reveals that people with a bachelor's degree earn, on average, about 65% more than those who have only completed high school.By making higher
education
 more accessible, universities contribute to a more inclusive academic environment and support social mobility, giving everyone a fair chance to succeed regardless of their background. Another crucial benefit of expanding
access
 to higher
education
 is the promotion of equal
opportunities
. By offering financial aid, scholarships, and support programs, universities can help students from disadvantaged backgrounds overcome barriers that might
otherwise
 prevent them from pursuing higher
education
.
For example
,
according to
 a report by the
Education
 Trust,increasing financial and scholarship
opportunities
 can significantly improve enrollment rates among low-income students. By investing in higher
education
 for more individuals, societies not only improve personal income levels but
also
 drive broader economic progress and stability. In conclusion, expanding
access
 to higher
education
 provides vital economic benefits and promotes equal
opportunities
. By improving personal income and fostering inclusivity, universities play a crucial role in driving both economic and social progress.
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grammar
Review the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos, such as missing spaces after commas and inconsistent capitalization (e.g., 'University' should be 'university').
content development
Expand on the points made and provide additional details or examples to further strengthen the argument.
introduction
The introduction clearly states the writer’s position on the topic.
evidence
The essay provides relevant statistical examples to support the main points, such as the report by the National Center for Education Statistics.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main arguments and reinforces the writer's position.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Equal opportunity
  • Diversity
  • Underrepresented groups
  • Financial constraints
  • Scholarships
  • Quota systems
  • Preparatory courses
  • Outreach programs
  • Academic standards
  • Tokenism
  • Reverse discrimination
  • Impoverished
  • Rural areas
  • Enrollment policies
  • Non-profit organizations
What to do next:
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