IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Group of people considers that secure life can be provided by bringing back death penalty. I partly agree that restoring death penalty will lead to safer life of society.

#group #people #life #death #penalty #society
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Group
Correct article usage
A group
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 of people considers that secure life can be provided by bringing back
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
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penalty
Use synonyms
. I partly agree that restoring
Use synonyms
death
Correct article usage
the death
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penalty
Use synonyms
 will lead to
safer
Correct article usage
a safer
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 life
of
Change preposition
in
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 society. First and foremost, it should be considered as
delivery
Correct article usage
a delivery
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 of
justice
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. It is very important as each
time
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 when any crime is committed, social
justice
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 is being violated.
Moreover
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, restoring social
justice
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 is one of the aims of the criminal
law
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.
Justice
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 is a broad concept. In
this
Linking Words
situation
Add a comma
situation,
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 it can be considered like
penalty
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 for committing crimes in
case
Fix the agreement mistake
cases
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 when
character
Add an article
the character
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 of
crime
Correct article usage
the crime
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 is major or atrocity. To that type of
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
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, we can refer
terrorism
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to terrorism
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, diversity and others. They have
long lasting
Add a hyphen
long-lasting
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 consequences and effects and are very dangerous for society and sometimes even for states.
On the other hand
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, by bringing back
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death
Correct article usage
the death
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penalty
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 some
economical
Replace the word
economic
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 resources can be saved as custody of prisoners in the places of liberty deprivation costs much for the state and in
this
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 case, it seems meaningless as these criminals will never have
normal
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the normal
a normal
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 mindset, so it is just a waste of money,
time
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 and other sources. At the same
time
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, sometimes wrong decisions can be made, and their consequences are not incorrigible. These mistakes may occur
due to
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 different reasons
such
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 as falsified documents, information, evidence, perjury and other reasons.
Although
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 courts and prosecutors do their best to reach the trust, enforcement of
Use synonyms
law
Add an article
the law
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,
social
Correct word choice
and social
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justice
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 by following procedures, still it
stays
Verb problem
is
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 not an undeniable fact that
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
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 has been committed by person X. But being sure that he or she broke the
law
Use synonyms
, person X gets
Use synonyms
death
Add an article
the death
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penalty
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. After some
time
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, it may be revealed that he or she even was not guilty, but there is nothing to do at all and after all
as
Correct word choice
apply
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he or she is dead.
This
Linking Words
 all will lead to lower authority of
law
Use synonyms
 enforcement bodies. In conclusion, I partly support the idea that restoring
Use synonyms
death
Add an article
the death
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penalty
Use synonyms
 for
secure
Correct article usage
a secure
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 life as it delivers
justice
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, but at the same
Use synonyms
time
Add a comma
time,
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 some problems with its application may occur
due to
Linking Words
 difficulties in reaching trust and finding
out
Change preposition
apply
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the real criminal.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, mention specific countries where the death penalty has had a significant impact, either positively or negatively.
clear comprehensive ideas
Expand on each main point a bit more to provide a fuller exploration of your ideas. This can help in making your arguments more comprehensive and convincing.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps guide the reader through your arguments.
logical structure
The logical structure of the essay is generally sound. Each paragraph presents a distinct idea that supports your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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