The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary scjool types between 2000 and 2009.

The table shows the proportions of pupils attending four secondary scjool types between 2000 and 2009.
The table represents the percentages of students attending four types of secondary
schools
between 2000 and 2009.
Overall
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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all four secondary school type's
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
went differently.
However
, in the
last
2009
years
, the highest
percentage
had community
schools
with 58%,
while
the lowest
percentage
had specialist
schools
with 10%. Between 2000-2009, community school's
percentage
grew up significantly from 12% to 58%.
In contrast
, the smallest proportion out of 100% is specialist
schools
. During these nine
years
, the number fell reducing from 12% to 10%. Based on the evidence,
the
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apply
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both
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
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of
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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at the same place at
first,
but after 9
years
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
steeply modified. The other countries saw a slight decrease in attendance, compared to the greatest
percentage
. In 2000, Grammar
Schools
had 24% attendance,
regrettably
Add a comma
regrettably,
show examples
it dropped to 12%, which is the second lowest result.
However
, Voluntary-controlled
schools
had a better outcome compared to Grammar
Schools
. Throughout nine
years
, from 52% which was the highest number at that time, declined to 20%, the second highest proportion.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, years, percentage with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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