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Band 6.5

Some people think that cities are the best places to live. Others prefer to live in a rural area. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #cities #places #area
It is highly debatable whether
cities
 or
villages
 are better places to live.
This
 essay will dive into both the views
along with
 my opinion in the end.
To begin
 with, there are numerous benefits of living in rural
areas
. The prominent
one
 is the better
quality
 of life as most of the
villages
 are far from industries which means air
quality
 is good, and water is not polluted with chemical drainage.
Furthermore
,
villages
 are lying in the lap of nature which means they have fresh air for breathing and cleaner water for usage making it a good option to live.
According to
 a survey, the air
quality
 of
villages
 is far better than the
cities
 which are highly polluted resulting in more breathing problems for their inhabitants.
However
, there are various advantages of residing in urban
areas
. The major
one
 is better opportunities be it in the form of employment , medical facilities , transportation or education.
Cities
 have huge infrastructure resulting in a number of jobs which successfully lure people to migrate from their
villages
. As per the 2020 survey report, the rate of unemployment is 45% in rural
areas
whereas
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
metropolitan
areas
Add a comma
areas,
show examples
 it is only 5%. That seems to be
one
 of the major reasons behind folks moving out from their village homes to
cities
. Personally, I prefer living in the city as I was raised in
one
 and could not imagine myself living in the countryside. Because everything seems so accessible in the city
whereas
 in
villages
 you have to travel a lot for basic needs.
To conclude
,
this
 seems like
never-ending
Correct article usage
a never-ending
show examples
 debate as
one
 provides the
quality
 of life
whereas
 others support the standard of living. It is completely a person's choice to pick
one
.
Submitted by kaur75971 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on creating smooth transitions between your points. This will help the essay flow better and improve readability.
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed within each paragraph. For instance, support the idea of urban areas having better medical facilities with more specific examples or data.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view of both rural and urban living, which shows a fair understanding of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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