Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
Correct article usage
a
Change noun form
child
child
’s development
is the most significant thing that researchers search about it
and there are people who think that the main factors Correct pronoun usage
apply
influence
on Correct pronoun usage
that influence
Child
's development
media such
as s are going with there Freinds
and music, Correct your spelling
their friends
whereas
others
more Add a verb
others are
others were
essental
Correct your spelling
essential
belive
that staying with Family more essential.
As we can see nowadays Correct your spelling
believe
children
are more interesting
in watching TV and Replace the word
interested
setting
on their iPads for Correct your spelling
sitting
long
time chatting with friends. In Change the article
a long
fact
for watching TV there are several advantages, so it depends if there parents watch Add a comma
fact,
theme
all the time and they Fix the agreement mistake
themes
sure
that their Add a missing verb
are sure
children
watching something they benefit from it . In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
child
development
can increase by contacting
with other Change preposition
through contact
children
so they can play and useful
Add a missing verb
be useful
from
them . The Change preposition
to
parents
role here Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
more
important Add a missing verb
is more
to
give Add a missing verb
is to
there
Replace the word
their
children
chance
to Correct article usage
a chance
going
out with their friends Wrong verb form
go
this
will affect on
their Change preposition
apply
children
Change noun form
children's
development
.
Also
, setting with family more
effective for Add a missing verb
is more
child
development
, what i
mean Change the capitalization
I
they
can give more connections with family and become Add a missing verb
is they
interest
Change the verb form
interested
with
Change preposition
in
theme
. They may Add an article
the theme
a theme
accure
some knowledge and life experience.
Correct your spelling
acquire
accrue
To sum up
, there are alot
of factors Correct your spelling
a lot
can
affect on Correct pronoun usage
that can
child
Change noun form
child's
development
whether Setting
with family or watching TV and other factors.Verb problem
Sitting
Submitted by bushra.2001.mb on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay is well-organized and each paragraph has a clear main idea. For example, you can start by clearly stating the two viewpoints in the introduction to set up your discussion.
task achievement
Work on expanding your main points with relevant specific examples. For instance, when discussing the role of TV, you might mention educational programs that can benefit children’s development.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical errors and sentence structures to make your ideas clearer. For instance, avoid run-on sentences and ensure subjects and verbs agree.
task achievement
It's good that you discussed both viewpoints related to child's development and provided a conclusion, which shows your engagement with the question.
task achievement
You have some complex ideas which indicate your ability to tackle a sophisticated topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!