IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some believes that professional, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#doctors #engineers #work #country
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It has been argued by
few
Correct article usage
a few
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, that
the
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apply
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professionals
for instance
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, doctors and engineers should serve
their
Change the word
the
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country
Use synonyms
 where they have learned their practices.
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While other
Correct word choice
Other
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 quotes, that it is completely their choice if they want to perform their skills in other
countries
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. In the below context, I will discuss both
the
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apply
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sides and present my view. On the one hand, it is said that doctors and engineers should work in their own
country
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 where they did their training. The reason behind
this
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 thinking is that
,
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apply
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 they have used the resources of the
country
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 and it is a way to
payback
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pay back
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. There are few
people
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 who took their degrees from
the
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apply
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government colleges and universities,
for instance
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.
Thus
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, if they will render their services in their own
country
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, not only it does affirm their
repaymeny
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repayment
 to the
country
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, but
also
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 it will help in the
country
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's upliftment.
Also
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, they are more familiar with their
country
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's structure and they will perform better than others.
On the contrary
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, if white-collar
people
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 want to work in other
countries
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, it is their personal choice and they have freedom of movement. They can attain more experience and help their families and
country
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 financially.
For example
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, there is a currency difference in some
countries
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. Let's say
people
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 do their studies in India and go to
countries
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 like Canada and Australia, they will earn more and diversify themselves
while
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 working with
people
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 from different
background
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backgrounds
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.
This
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 will benefit them and their home
countries
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 economically. Taking everything into account, I would say both
the
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apply
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sides have it's pros and cons but the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
People
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 who choose to serve in different
countries
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 than their home
countries
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 can benefit themselves and other
countries
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 in enormous ways.
Thus
Linking Words
, they should be independent to do their jobs
where ever
Correct your spelling
wherever
show examples
 they want to.
Submitted by kiranbirkaur003 on

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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning statistics or reports about brain drain or the economic impact of professionals working abroad would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that slightly detract from clarity. For instance, 'For example, there is a currency difference in some countries' could be more smoothly phrased as 'For example, the currency exchange rates can be significantly different...' Consider reviewing your essay for such improvements.
task achievement
Your essay effectively introduces the topic and provides a balanced discussion of both viewpoints. This shows a clear understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion successfully summarizes the main points and clearly states your opinion, which is well-aligned with the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • brain drain
  • expatriates
  • repay
  • enhanced
  • remittances
  • international cooperation
  • cultural diversity
  • global best practices
  • economic incentives
  • working conditions
  • political stability
  • human right
  • freedom of movement
  • investment in education
  • skill shortage
  • career growth
  • push and pull factors
  • migration
  • global health crises
What to do next:
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