IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people believe that Professionals such as doctors and engineers should be required to work in the country where they did their training others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish discuss both these weeds and give your own opinion

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country #weeds
In
this
 essay, I will be talking about people who graduated from a country and wish to practice it in another one.
First,
I will discuss the common opinion and
then
 the opposite side.
Firstly
, the side which agrees with graduate humans to continue their career in the same nation they learn in, maybe it's true in a way because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if where they wouldn't learn from that place it's lucky for them to be not able to understand the job nature.
Also
, it's a good thing to give back to the people who helped you in some kind to achieve what you have become and show a little bit of respect.
On the other hand
, some will say it's completely their right to immediately go to wherever they want to go after finishing college. Their argument is that there are a lot of young generation men and women who would replace them and fill the need in the important jobs in any different aspect of the field.
For instance
, doctors or engineers or any job that requires specialists who could get the job done. In my opinion, humans should be free from being blamed because there are more than multiple people who would know the profession very well, and colleges need to accept more freshmen to study professions. In conclusion, studying is a noble thing for humans to do and they need to be well respected and given full control over their future.
Moreover
, in
this
 case, if someone prefers to go abroad to continue their career and move on with a happy life to enjoy it.
Submitted by abood291a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction that clearly outlines the points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your points.
task achievement
Work on varying your sentence structures and using more advanced vocabulary to improve readability and sophistication.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it flows logically to the next paragraph.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the topic and have addressed both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your standpoint, reinforcing your essay's main point.
task achievement
You have shown good reasoning and expressed your own opinion in a thoughtful manner.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!