IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

1.In the past, people ate local food in season. Nowadays, people buy a variety of foods from all over the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #food #season #variety #foods #world
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There is a misconception that people should only consume seasonal food
due to
 the belief that plants grown out of season may contain harmful chemicals.
However
, I advocate for consuming a variety of produce from all over the world for two main reasons: the strict regulation of the importation process and the diverse nutritional benefits. Some individuals are afraid to use products from other countries
due to
 concerns about the health effects of pesticides and preservatives.
However
,
this
 perspective is outdated as many governments now have strict regulations on imported food quality before it enters the local market.
For example
, lychee, a popular fruit in Vietnam, undergoes rigorous testing before being consumed by the Japanese.
Therefore
, the assumption that consuming food from other countries is harmful is not necessarily true. In my opinion, consuming a diverse range of fruits from other countries can greatly benefit one's health in many ways. Imported fruits contain specific nutrients that consumers should take note of. Blueberries, which only grow in Western or temperate zones, are an excellent source of brain-boosting nutrients and are efficient for the Asian market where intellectual employees need to support their brain health. Depending on an individual's physical condition, they should choose the category of foods that contain the vitamins, minerals, or other compounds that suit their requirements. In conclusion, the benefits of eating various foods from all over the world outweigh the downside of consuming them in the domestic market.
Submitted by hoagloc on

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Task Achievement
Make sure to directly address both advantages and disadvantages of the topic to give a balanced argument. Your essay leans heavily towards the advantages, neglecting direct discussion of potential disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of your essay. While the structure is clear, more sophisticated transitions could enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a brief discussion of the opposing viewpoint to strengthen your argument. Acknowledging the disadvantages, even if to refute them, would make your essay more comprehensive.
Task Achievement
You've effectively used specific examples, such as the safety regulations of lychee imports to Japan, to support your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay presents a strong introduction and conclusion, firmly establishing your viewpoint and summarizing the main points clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've maintained a logical structure throughout the essay, with each paragraph focusing on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples and explanations.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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