In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

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‏Working is an It is an essential thing in our lives. It is certainly true that

kids

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can achieve the best if they

work

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hard.

However

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, not all the effects of

this

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innovation have been positive,

although

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there are surely some advantages. ‏There are several drawbacks to telling

kids

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Work

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hard. Exposing children to difficult

Work

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can lead them to the potential of disappointment, thereby,

kids

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can't be empowered to

work

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hard again.

For example

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, the result of conducted research illustrates that the race of

kids

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who do their best,

then

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face unrealistic expectations are suffered from anxiety and pressure.

As a result

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this

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could affect the belief that they on their health.

Moreover

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, can achieve anything

while

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Working hard which will make them believe only in working hard, and ignoring other factors that help them to arrive at

sucess

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success

such

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as luck, talent and opportunity. ‏In spite of these negative aspects,

however

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, believing in the power of hard

work

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boosts self-confidence.

Kids

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are encouraged to develop and improve themself.

for instance

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, in some private schools, students who are required to

work

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harder than others, students perform better than their classmates.

Thus

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, they can innovate and create wisely.

Furthermore

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, if children used to

work

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hard, they would probably be independent people. They may face any issue and solve it by themself like

while

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travelling, cleaning •So, they Cooking. their problems. have the responsibility to carry or ‏In conclusion, working hard for children might have both advantages and disadvantages. parents have a vital role in supporting their

kids

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to be able to face any issue.

13570581Sat Sep 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Try to organize your arguments into clear and distinct paragraphs with topic sentences. This will help your essay flow more logically and make it easier to follow.

task achievement

Introduce more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

general

Work on eliminating grammar mistakes and improving sentence structure. This will improve the overall clarity and readability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, providing a clear understanding of your stance.

task achievement

You have identified and discussed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which demonstrates a balanced view.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

work ethic
self-belief
perseverance
resilience
self-esteem
unrealistic expectations
external factors
inherent talent
disappointment
effort
achieve
overcoming obstacles
goals
pressure

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Many companies invest their money in sport games for advertisement purposes. Some people think it's good for the sport world, while others believe that it has some disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many young people leave school with negative attitudes towards learning. What are the causes？How to encourage young people to study？

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects of this on society and families?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion