In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving chilren this message?
Working is an It is an essential thing in our lives. It is certainly true that
kids
can achieve the best if they work
hard. However
, not all the effects of this
innovation have been positive, although
there are surely some advantages.
There are several drawbacks to telling kids
to Work
hard. Exposing children to difficult Work
can lead them to the potential of disappointment, thereby, kids
can't be empowered to work
hard again. For example
, the result of conducted research illustrates that the race of kids
who do their best, then
face unrealistic expectations are suffered from anxiety and pressure. As a result
, this
could affect the belief that they on their health. Moreover
, can achieve anything while
Working hard which will make them believe only in working hard, and ignoring other factors that help them to arrive at sucess
Correct your spelling
success
such
as luck, talent and opportunity.
In spite of these negative aspects, however
, believing in the power of hard work
boosts self-confidence.Kids
are encouraged to develop and improve themself. for instance
, in some private schools, students who are required to work
harder than others, students perform better than their classmates. Thus
, they can innovate and create wisely. Furthermore
, if children used to work
hard, they would probably be independent people. They may face any issue and solve it by themself like while
travelling, cleaning •So, they Cooking. their problems. have the responsibility to carry or
In conclusion, working hard for children might have both advantages and disadvantages. parents have a vital role in supporting their kids
to be able to face any issue.Submitted by 13570581 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay could benefit from a clearer structure. Try to organize your arguments into clear and distinct paragraphs with topic sentences. This will help your essay flow more logically and make it easier to follow.
task achievement
Introduce more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing and will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
general
Work on eliminating grammar mistakes and improving sentence structure. This will improve the overall clarity and readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, providing a clear understanding of your stance.
task achievement
You have identified and discussed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, which demonstrates a balanced view.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...