Many countries thought that children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Around the world, there is a controversial debate over children's free time.

While

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some people believe that kids should

spent

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spend

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their free time

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apply

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studying more, I side with the ones who prefer to allow their sons and daughters to stay outside.

This

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essay will shed light on both opinions and explain why outdoor

activities

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are a better option based on two crucial aspects of youngsters's

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life

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lives

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: health and creativity.

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with, children's

body

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bodies

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should be stimulated.

Practicing

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Practising

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sports is as fundamental as reading and writing.

For example

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, the famous Montessori pedagogical methodology included several sessions of physical exercise. Maria Montessori was an experimental Italian educator

that

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who

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observed how running in a park or being engaged in an exercise in a garden made kids not only happier

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apply

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but

also

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healthier. That's why underestimating the positive impact of these

activities

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could be even counterproductive for

the

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apply

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education itself. The second reason is the creativity.

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is a skill that needs to be stimulated since the early years of

human's

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human

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life

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. The

activities

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that trigger imagination are within playful frameworks

such

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as outdoor games. In these conditions, kids have the opportunity to play different roles, solve problems, and use their intuition. These are abilities that are important

also

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in the adult's

life

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. In conclusion,

although

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many believe that a better education is driven by

exercises

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exercise

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at home,

the

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apply

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outdoor

activities

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should never be forgotten. Practicing sports and playing games should be part of kid's

life

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apply

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because they improve kid's bodies and increase their creativity.

___kkkoo___Sat Sep 07 2024

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task response

You've done a great job presenting a balanced perspective in your introduction, but it would be even more effective if you slightly elaborated on the opposing view before siding with your viewpoint. This would make your essay appear more balanced.

task response

Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you stated that outdoor activities boost creativity, but providing a concise anecdote or study would strengthen your argument further.

coherence and cohesion

Your ideas are organized logically, and there's a clear structure. However, improving transitions between paragraphs could further enhance the flow. For example, you might start the second paragraph with, 'One compelling reason for this is health benefits, especially...,' which would make the structure even clearer.

coherence and cohesion

While your points are coherent, connecting phrases and transitional words could be used more frequently to enhance the cohesion of your essay, such as 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' or 'Furthermore.'

task response

You introduced your topic clearly and provided a strong thesis statement that outlines the two main aspects your essay will discuss: health and creativity.

coherence and cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and reiterates your stance, which brings a sense of closure to the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well-structured, with each paragraph discussing a distinct point relevant to your thesis.

task response

You used a relevant example about the Montessori method to support your point about the importance of physical activity, which adds credibility to your argument.

7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Many countries thought that children have to do homework in their free time while others say children should do more outdoor activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, people have health problems because they chose to live an unhealthy lifestyle. What are the reasons and solutions?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The top priority of businesses is making money, and they do not need to have social responsibilities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people's attention to art? The government's investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Governments should invest these funds in public services instead.