IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. The plans below show the layout of a university sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#minutes #plans #show #layout #university #sports #centre #redevelopment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The
two
 maps predict how the design of a university's
sports
centre
 is going to change and develop from now to the future. At present, inside the layout, a
pool
 of 25 square meters lies in the
centre
 of the university
sports
centre
, and the gym, changing room and seat area are respectively located around the
pool
,
while
 its entrance and reception are in front of the
pool
.
Besides
 the current layout,
two
 outdoor courts occupying the same place are located in the western and eastern parts. In the second picture, the
sports
centre
 will change a lot. As a whole, the space is predicted to be enlarged with more functional areas
while
 the
pool
, changing room, seating and reception will be well kept in the original condition with the same size and location. It can
also
 be seen that the gym is going to be extended into a large space for more faculty to use. Meanwhile, the space of
two
 outdoor courts will be replaced by a spacious leisure
pool
 on the left and a
sports
 hall on the right respectively.
Besides
, new facilities like
two
 changing rooms, a shops shop, a cafe and dance studios will
also
 be built in
this
 area.
Overall
, based on the brief description above,
it is clear that
 the general layout of the village will change a lot,
while
 some newly-built facilities will be ornamented the
sports
centre
.
Submitted by nikolopup on

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task achievement
Your essay successfully summarizes the main features of the two layouts and highlights the significant changes. To improve further, try to add more specific details like the exact locations of the new facilities in comparison to the current layout. This will make your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
While the structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, consider adding clearer linking phrases between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the flow of your writing. For example, use terms like 'currently', 'in the future', 'in addition', 'however', etc. to better connect your ideas.
general
Try to avoid minor mistakes like '25 square meters' instead of just '25 meters'. Also, be mindful of parallel structure—the phrase 'a shops shop' should be corrected to 'a shop'.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your response well.
task achievement
You've done a good job of highlighting the significant changes and new additions in the future layout.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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