A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The fast-growing population and development of our countries
has
created housing problems. Change the verb form
have
As a consequence
, in some places the government spend huge amounts of money fixing age buildings
in order
to use them. On the other hand
, some governments knock down the edifications in order
to create places for new buildings
. In this
essay
we will discuss why we should spend money on reparations of older Add a comma
essay,
buildings
and why this
is a
more affordable and more respectful with our heritage.
Change the article
apply
Firstly
, the reparations of older buildings
that are all around our cities is
more affordable than the demolition of the previous building and the construction of a new edification. Change the verb form
are
For example
, if you have to accomplish the demolition of a center city building, you need a lot of machinery, skilled
workers and Correct word choice
and skilled
that is
only in order
to get a new solar to start building the new structure. As a consequence
, the spending on this
type of renovation is far more than renovating an old building.
Secondly
, a lot of older properties that are all around the towns represent the cultural heritage of that
cities. As an example, you can knock down King-Cross station Correct determiner usage
those
on
London in Change preposition
in
order
to build a new one,
but Remove the comma
apply
thus
will destroy a historical building in the town, depriving the new generations of knowing the life history of their own town.
In conclusion, the development of our cities had
created a necessity Wrong verb form
has
of
new places for housing and other purposes, Change preposition
for
however
, the demolition of older structures in order
to build newer buildings
is a less affordable and more destructive solution than repairing and adjusting the old buildings
to the new porpoises.Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to avoid repetitive points and delve deeper into each argument with more relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but try to enhance the logical flow by using more connecting phrases. This will help the reader understand the sequence of your arguments better.
grammar
Watch for minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect plurals and misuse of tense. Proofreading can catch these small mistakes.
vocabulary
To increase sophistication, use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words such as "old building" and "new building." Preferring synonyms could add variety.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages of repairing old buildings and the disadvantages of demolishing them. This balanced approach strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly set out the main points of the essay.
vocabulary
You employ a good range of vocabulary, making your essay engaging and informative.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are appropriately divided and each main point is given its own space for discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!