A lot of money is spent on repairing old building. Instead of repairing old building that money should be spent on knocking down old building and building new ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The fast-growing population and development of our countries
has
created housing problems. Change the verb form
have
As a consequence
, in some places the government spend huge amounts of money fixing age Linking Words
buildings
in Use synonyms
order
to use them. Use synonyms
On the other hand
, some governments knock down the edifications in Linking Words
order
to create places for new Use synonyms
buildings
. In Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
essay
we will discuss why we should spend money on reparations of older Add a comma
essay,
buildings
and why Use synonyms
this
is Linking Words
a
more affordable and more respectful with our heritage.
Change the article
apply
Firstly
, the reparations of older Linking Words
buildings
that are all around our cities Use synonyms
is
more affordable than the demolition of the previous building and the construction of a new edification. Change the verb form
are
For example
, if you have to accomplish the demolition of a center city building, you need a lot of machinery, Linking Words
skilled
workers and Correct word choice
and skilled
that is
only in Linking Words
order
to get a new solar to start building the new structure. Use synonyms
As a consequence
, the spending on Linking Words
this
type of renovation is far more than renovating an old building.
Linking Words
Secondly
, a lot of older properties that are all around the towns represent the cultural heritage of Linking Words
that
cities. As an example, you can knock down King-Cross station Correct determiner usage
those
on
London in Change preposition
in
order
to build a new oneUse synonyms
,
but Remove the comma
apply
thus
will destroy a historical building in the town, depriving the new generations of knowing the life history of their own town.
In conclusion, the development of our cities Linking Words
had
created a necessity Wrong verb form
has
of
new places for housing and other purposes, Change preposition
for
however
, the demolition of older structures in Linking Words
order
to build newer Use synonyms
buildings
is a less affordable and more destructive solution than repairing and adjusting the old Use synonyms
buildings
to the new porpoises.Use synonyms
Submitted by pabloenriquevicente on
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with clear and comprehensive ideas. Try to avoid repetitive points and delve deeper into each argument with more relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, but try to enhance the logical flow by using more connecting phrases. This will help the reader understand the sequence of your arguments better.
grammar
Watch for minor grammatical errors, such as incorrect plurals and misuse of tense. Proofreading can catch these small mistakes.
vocabulary
To increase sophistication, use a wider range of vocabulary and avoid repetition of words such as "old building" and "new building." Preferring synonyms could add variety.
task achievement
The essay effectively addresses the task by discussing both the advantages of repairing old buildings and the disadvantages of demolishing them. This balanced approach strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly set out the main points of the essay.
vocabulary
You employ a good range of vocabulary, making your essay engaging and informative.
coherence cohesion
Paragraphs are appropriately divided and each main point is given its own space for discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.