At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

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The

ration

Correct your spelling

ratio

show examples

of the number of older people

towads

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towards

yonger

Correct your spelling

younger

longer

plummiting

Correct your spelling

plummeting

This

Linking Words

trend has lots of bad outcomes as it can affect on

overall

Linking Words

global economy and

amount

Correct article usage

the amount

show examples

of produced

food

Use synonyms

. First and foremost, economies of modern countries mostly depend on

amount

Add an article

the amount

show examples

of services their

peopel

Correct your spelling

people

can provide with.

Yonger

Correct your spelling

Younger

generations are more keen on working

Change preposition

apply

show examples

productively in their working places as they have more life energy and time to accomplish tasks. As people get older their productivity lessens. As more productivity gets to

lower

Correct article usage

a lower

show examples

point, more companies spend more money per amount of time to

acomplish

Correct your spelling

accomplish

their working plan. By making each project more expensive to complete,

averge

Correct your spelling

average

salary will be lowered. After lowering

average

Correct article usage

the average

show examples

income level the

overall

Linking Words

economy will degenerate

due to

Linking Words

fact

Correct article usage

the fact

show examples

that people will be able to afford

less

Change the quantifier

fewer

show examples

products, services and various

stuffs

Fix the agreement mistake

stuff

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Moreover

Linking Words

, by

increase

Add an article

an increase

the increase

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in mediocre age

food

Use synonyms

production will be the one affected mostly. Even in

era

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the era

an era

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technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

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when nearly all jobs are improved with machines

farmingf

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farming

and

food

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production

requires

Correct subject-verb agreement

require

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having

Unnecessary verb

apply

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physical preparation as it may be needed to apply some force during collecting harvest or carrying heavy

prducts

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products

. As more older workers are twisted with

food

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production service the less

food

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corporations provide humanity with.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

can

cause

Verb problem

have

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tremendous

Add an article

a tremendous

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effect on

whole

Change the article

the whole

show examples

population of our planet causing multiple

disease

Change to a plural noun

diseases

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

small

food

Use synonyms

consumption rate. In conclusion increase in

average

Correct article usage

the average

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age among society in countries

which is

Verb problem

that

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contributing

Wrong verb form

contribute

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big part of

global

Add an article

the global

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economy can cause multiple

affects

Replace the word

effects

show examples

which can cause

lowering

Correct your spelling

lower

show examples

overall

Linking Words

salries

Correct your spelling

salaries

and multiple

health related

Add a hyphen

health-related

show examples

problems.

Submitted by teymur.valikhan80 on Sat Sep 07 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the essay has a clear introduction that outlines the main points that will be discussed. Your current introduction dives directly into arguments without setting the stage for the reader.

clear comprehensive ideas

Strive to reduce grammatical and spelling errors. Errors can distract the reader and obscure your meaning. For instance, 'ration', 'towads', 'yonger', 'peopel', and 'farmingf' should be 'ratio', 'toward', 'younger', 'people', and 'farming'.

relevant specific examples

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. For instance, you could mention specific industries or scenarios where the presence of young adults has positively impacted productivity and the economy.

supported main points

You have raised relevant and meaningful points regarding the impact of age demographics on the economy and food production.

introduction conclusion present

Your conclusion ties back to your main argument, summarizing the points discussed in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
37
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

262 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. agree or disagree

In many cities there is a lack of space to develop and as a result, in order to modernise, old buildings are demolished and replaced with new buildings. What are the disadvantages of knocking down old buildings? Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?