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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys

#parents #children #toys #child
It is true that many
children
 have a
lot
 of playthings. Play benefits have much for
children
, but having a large number of
toys
 has many advantages and drawbacks. I describe it below. On the one hand, having more
toys
 has much more benefits.
To begin
 with,
children
 learn to control things, a child cannot control anything when they grow up.
Much
Fix the agreement mistake
Many
show examples
 more
toys
 might help them control other things. As to cognitive skills, playing
toys
Change preposition
with toys
show examples
 can increase
children
's cognitive skills. So that they can learn anything very quickly.
Finally
, more playing things can make them happier than others, so having many
toys
 helps them to identify the
colors
Change the spelling
colours
show examples
 very easily, and it is a very good time passing.
On the other hand
, playing more
toys
 has a
lot
 of drawbacks.
First,
many
toys
 contain harmful plastic, which is very unhealthy. Because we saw every child biting their
toys
.
Thus
Correct your spelling
This
show examples
,
create
Correct subject-verb agreement
creates
show examples
 a
lot
 of diseases.
Secondly
, envy would
create
Wrong verb form
be created
show examples
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 other
children
. Every parent can not buy many
toys
 so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
another child may be jealous of him or her.
Finally
, more
toys
 create much fun, and, they would pass
hole
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 time with them. That could create less
person
Replace the word
personal
show examples
 interaction. So that they cannot communicate with others.  In conclusion,
due to
 the lack of
play ground
Correct your spelling
playground
show examples
 in the cities, parents buy many
toys
 for their kids to play with them. That makes them happy easily and improves cognitive skills. So having many playing
toys
 has a
lot
 of advantages
as well as
 disadvantages. I think benefits are likely more than drawbacks.
Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on

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task achievement
To strengthen the task achievement score, consider using more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific types of toys or scenarios can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, it would be beneficial to work on the logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. For example, linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'Additionally') can help enhance the flow.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as this can affect the clarity of your essay. Proofreading your work or using grammar-check tools can help in this regard.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the argument, providing a good overview of the essay's main points.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having many toys.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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