Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys

#parents #children #toys #child

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It is true that many

children

have a

lot

of playthings. Play benefits have much for

children

, but having a large number of

toys

has many advantages and drawbacks. I describe it below. On the one hand, having more

toys

has much more benefits.

To begin

with,

children

learn to control things, a child cannot control anything when they grow up.

Much

Fix the agreement mistake

Many

show examples

toys

might help them control other things. As to cognitive skills, playing

toys

Change preposition

with toys

show examples

can increase

children

's cognitive skills. So that they can learn anything very quickly.

Finally

, more playing things can make them happier than others, so having many

toys

helps them to identify the

colors

Change the spelling

colours

show examples

very easily, and it is a very good time passing.

On the other hand

, playing more

toys

has a

lot

of drawbacks.

First,

many

toys

contain harmful plastic, which is very unhealthy. Because we saw every child biting their

toys

Thus

Correct your spelling

This

show examples

create

Correct subject-verb agreement

creates

show examples

lot

of diseases.

Secondly

, envy would

create

Wrong verb form

be created

show examples

from

Change preposition

show examples

other

children

. Every parent can not buy many

toys

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

another child may be jealous of him or her.

Finally

, more

toys

create much fun, and, they would pass

hole

Correct your spelling

the

show examples

time with them. That could create less

person

Replace the word

personal

show examples

interaction. So that they cannot communicate with others. In conclusion,

due to

the lack of

play ground

Correct your spelling

playground

show examples

in the cities, parents buy many

toys

for their kids to play with them. That makes them happy easily and improves cognitive skills. So having many playing

toys

has a

lot

of advantages

as well as

disadvantages. I think benefits are likely more than drawbacks.

Submitted by mdtipusultanakhand on Sat Sep 07 2024

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task achievement

To strengthen the task achievement score, consider using more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mentioning specific types of toys or scenarios can make your argument more compelling.

coherence cohesion

In terms of coherence and cohesion, it would be beneficial to work on the logical flow of ideas. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. For example, linking words and phrases (e.g., 'Moreover,' 'Additionally') can help enhance the flow.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, as this can affect the clarity of your essay. Proofreading your work or using grammar-check tools can help in this regard.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the argument, providing a good overview of the essay's main points.

task achievement

The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having many toys.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

261 words

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to paly with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having a large number of toys

Fully explain your ideas

Many governments think that economic progress is the most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that success in life comes from ard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Dicuss both views and give your opinion

Some people argue that if children behave badly, their parents should accept responsibility and also be punished for the behavior of their children. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

There is an increase in the number of parents choosing educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?