In the future, robots will do more and more jobs instead of humans. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?
When I was young,
robots
were toys for children. Use synonyms
Robots
nowadays are different. They increased productivity, efficiency, quality and consistency. Use synonyms
As a result
, there is a trend that they are going to take over most of humans’ work in the future. In Linking Words
this
essay, I am going to discuss what are the advantages and drawbacks of having Linking Words
robots
complete tasks for men and why I think the advantages of that outweigh the disadvantages.
There are two major weaknesses Use synonyms
of
replacing the human workforce with Change preposition
in
robots
. Use synonyms
Firstly
, the more a society adopts machinery in their workplace, the higher the unemployment rate. In the old days, a lot of mechanical works were done by hand. Linking Words
Therefore
, uneducated workers could still find a job easily at the factories and earn a living. Linking Words
However
, if most of the mechanical work is done by machinery, a lot of less educated people will be able to find a job. Linking Words
On the other hand
, robotics technology may become a financial burden for companies. Despite the expense of purchasing the robotic system, companies need to pay for the installation and maintenance fees. Linking Words
Moreover
, in order to stay competitive, businesses need to upgrade their hardware and software frequently. Linking Words
As a result
, using Linking Words
robots
in the workplace may cost more than humans. Use synonyms
However
, the number of Linking Words
lives
that Use synonyms
robots
can save has outweighed the financial problems that they bring to us.
Despite the drawbacks, Use synonyms
robots
are the best choice for dangerous and complicated tasks. Every industry has its share of dangerous jobs, though the danger level varies widely, which in the worst situation, people may lose their Use synonyms
lives
. Use synonyms
Robots
, unlike human beings, can work anywhere in any environment condition, even unsafe environments, Use synonyms
such
as chemical factories, radiation zones and underwater. With the help of robotic technology, people don’t need to sacrifice their health, even Linking Words
lives
in order to get the job done. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
robots
used in chemical manufacturing help avoid injuries and death for human workers. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, Linking Words
robots
can be more accurate than humans which are more suitable for complex jobs. Use synonyms
Robots
don’t tremble or shake like human hands. They have smaller and more versatile moving parts which help them in performing tasks more precisely than humans. Use synonyms
For example
, surgical Linking Words
robots
can assist in complex surgeries which improve patient outcomes, and, at the same time, save more Use synonyms
lives
.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that technology is becoming more advanced every day which means that Use synonyms
robots
are going to replace more and more human workers in the future. The increased use of Use synonyms
robots
in the workplace may cause financial problems for individuals and businesses. Use synonyms
However
, the present that Linking Words
robots
give us is much more valuable which is the second chance of life.Use synonyms
Submitted by puimei822 on
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General
Overall, your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the issue, presents a clear position, and is generally well-organized. However, there's some room for improvement. Make sure all sentences are fully developed, and consider further refining your examples for better clarity and relevance.
Task Response
In the section discussing the disadvantages of robots, make sure the contrast between costs and safety benefits is better articulated. Currently, it reads as though safety benefits are contrasted against financial burden rather abruptly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to improve the fluidity between paragraphs. For instance, the shift from disadvantages to advantages would benefit from a better transition sentence. This will enhance the overall coherence and flow of your essay.
Task Response
Some sentences might be clearer with a slight rephrasing. For example, "However, if most of the mechanical work is done by machinery, a lot of less educated people will be able to find a job" should be "... a lot of less educated people will not be able to find a job." Make sure your points are clear and precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your argument. This helps your overall coherence and clarity.
Task Response
You have provided relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points, such as the use of robots in chemical manufacturing and surgical procedures.
Task Response
Your position that the advantages of robots outweigh the disadvantages is clear and consistently maintained throughout the essay.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.