Some people believe that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, believe that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some individuals consider enhanced
sports
facilities the best way to boost public
health
.
However
, others believe that increasing the number of
sports
facilities does not contribute enough to improving public
health
, and other measures are essential.
This
essay will explore why I agree that being in the option of enhancing
sports
activities will effectively lead
t
Correct your spelling
to
progress in public
health
.
Sports
activities greatly enhance human
health
and are considered an essential part of lifestyle arguments.
Moreover
,
sports
play a crucial role in preventing diseases
such
as obesity, cardiovascular diseases, stroke, and diabetes. They improve body circulation and mental
health
. The consequences of a sedentary lifestyle, as seen in Gulf countries, underscore the importance of physical activity in disease prevention.
On the other hand
,
sports
activities are not costly and more enjoyable for most of the youth; students at school can have them at school and in public areas for gyms.
For example
, in Qatar, there are free zones for football, exercise and free gym areas in most compounds and streets, which attracts the public. In conclusion,
while
some people argue that the increase in the number of
sports
facilities is the key to public
health
improvement, I believe it is more crucial that people are educated on how to properly do
sports
.
This
knowledge empowers them to effectively and efficiently build a healthy lifestyle.
Submitted by holamonem79 on

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task response
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt and addresses both views, but more specific details or examples can strengthen the argument. Consider incorporating more diverse examples and possibly some statistical data or studies to back up the claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly from one idea to another. Adding more linking words and cohesive devices could improve the flow of the essay.
task response
Expanding on the provided examples and introducing additional specific incidents or case studies can help to make the arguments more concrete and persuasive.
introduction
The introduction clearly presents both sides of the argument and outlines the essay's intent effectively.
conclusion
The conclusion neatly ties back to the initial argument, providing a clear stance and final thought.
language use
The essay uses appropriate vocabulary and shows a good range of sentence structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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