The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types Between Between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given table describes
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the comparison of pupils attending
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
four secondary school types in 2000, 2005, and 2009. As is shown by the table, we can see that the number of school attendance from community
schools
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased from 2000 to 2009,
while
voluntary-controlled
schools
had
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
opposite trend. Looking in more detail, in 2000 community
schools
proportion was 12% and
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started to
growing
Change the form of the verb
grow
show examples
in 2005 (32%) before it reached the vertex in 2009 (58%).
On the other hand
, voluntary-controlled
schools
had
peak
Correct article usage
a peak
show examples
in 2000 (52%) before it fell to the lowest point with 20% in 2009. Meanwhile, grammar
schools
had a stable trend between 2000 and 2009 with 12%, 11%, and 10%, respectively.
Lastly
, Special
Schools
only had a small proportion of the school attendance with downward trends. In 2000, it was only 12% and slightly decreased to 11% and 10% in 2005 and 2009, respectively.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: