Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #pets #children

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Humans have always kept

animals

as their

pets

and we

continued

Wrong verb form

continue

show examples

to do so even in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

modern times. But, many of us oppose

this

trend on the grounds of

nature

Correct article usage

the nature

show examples

of the

animals

and their health hazards, especially for kids.

However

, I agree with

this

notion to a large extent and the points to support my stance are elaborated in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, the opponents of domestication assert that no one can judge the mood of these creatures and

this

can

proved

Change the verb form

prove

be proved

show examples

to be a dangerous situation. In fact,

pets

when not feeling well often become irritated and angry, in order to

vent-out

Correct your spelling

vent out

show examples

they can harm owners. To illustrate,

few

Change the article

a few

show examples

days ago, in

Punjab

Add a comma

Punjab,

show examples

a dog injured a

5 year old

Add a hyphen

5-year-old

show examples

boy and he was admitted to the hospital.

Thus

pets

always offer an unpredictable danger to the people attending them.

Moreover

, many of us are allergic to the hairs and feathers of the tamed

animals

. As a matter of fact, young ones

some times

Correct your spelling

sometimes

show examples

suffered

Wrong verb form

suffer

show examples

acute allergic reactions with the presence of

pets

around them.

For example

according to

a survey report, around 42 per cent of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children are allergic to the hairs of

pets

like dogs and cats.

Hence

, domestic creatures are harmful

for

Change the preposition

show examples

child's

Fix the agreement mistake

children's

show examples

health too. On the other side, proponents of keeping

animals

assert that they can help in

relieveing

Correct your spelling

relieving

stress and can

proved

Change the verb form

prove

show examples

a real help for the individuals, who

lives

Change the verb form

live

show examples

away from their

beloved

Correct your spelling

loved

show examples

ones.

Therefore

, they can serve the role of a companion in

real

Correct article usage

a real

show examples

sense.

To sum up

, it is right to say that

pets

play a pivotal role in the life of many individuals, but

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

at the same time they can harm kids and can cause severe health problems

such

as allergic reactions, which

it self

Correct your spelling

itself

show examples

is a

life threatening

Add a hyphen

life-threatening

show examples

situation.

Submitted by mrsdns on Sat Sep 07 2024

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task achievement

While the essay does address both sides of the argument, it is important to present a more balanced view. Providing more examples and elaborating on each point can strengthen your argument further.

task achievement

Work on the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are a bit convoluted and may confuse the reader. Simplifying your sentence structures can make your arguments more effective.

coherence cohesion

The essay's logical structure is mostly clear, but connections between paragraphs could be stronger. Ensure that each paragraph flows naturally into the next.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use varied linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion of the essay. This will help in maintaining the reader's interest and making your arguments more persuasively.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion and clearly states your opinion.

relevant specific examples

Using specific examples, such as the dog incident in Punjab and the survey report on allergies, makes your arguments more persuasive and relatable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

306 words

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Some people think that keeping pets is good for children while others think it is dangerous and unhealthy. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to your frind who lives in aqnother country and in your letter: a. Invite him to a public event in your country b. Describe the public event. c. Explain about other plans you have for your friennd when he will visit.

Sometimes spouses have to live far away from each other. Maintaining a long distance relationship is sometimes difficult and straining. What do you think are the main reasons for long distance relationships? What can be done to help couples feel closer in such situations?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Many people try to create a balance between their professional life and their personal life. However, very few are able to achieve such a balance. What problems stop people from achieving a work-life balance? How can these problems be overcome?