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Writing Samples
Band 6

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

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It often happens that
people
Use synonyms
 tend to decide whether or not they like a person
although
Linking Words
 it is the first time to see each other. It is natural for human beings but I personally believe that
this
Linking Words
 tendency is not an ideal habit.
Firstly
Linking Words
, one might lose the opportunity to become
friend
Add an article
a friend
the friend
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 who is actually
warm hearted
Add a hyphen
warm-hearted
show examples
 if they judge the person by
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 appearances or their behaviours. At work,
for instance
Linking Words
, new starters tend to think that senior workers are unapproachable and they try to avoid interacting with them.
However
Linking Words
, those experienced
people
Use synonyms
 might be simply taking their jobs seriously but they are friendly outside of the office. If newcomers approach the senior workers without judging them, they will have benefits
such
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 as being taught how to handle their tasks efficiently.
On the other hand
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, some are very excellent at reading others. It may be argued that they would not need to waste their time if they could see
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 to like and see each other on a regular basis immediately.
However
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, even if they can quickly know what kind of
people
Use synonyms
 they are, it is a great opportunity for them to develop their personalities.
This
Linking Words
 is because there is a wide range of
people
Use synonyms
 out there and if individuals try to interact with them without judging, they will be able to expand their thoughts, which will help them to develop their personalities.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 there are both sides of arguments on
this
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 given statement, as far as I am concerned, one should not decide very quickly whether or not they like the person
who
Change the pronoun
whom
show examples
 they meet for the first time.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and provides a balanced argument. However, strive for clearer topic sentences and more elaboration on each main point to enhance clarity and depth.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved with the use of appropriate linking words and phrases. The logical flow of the essay can be improved to ensure each point builds on the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and your conclusion convincingly summarizes your viewpoint.
task achievement
You offer relevant examples, such as the workplace scenario, which enrich your argument and make your points more credible.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • first impression
  • initial judgment
  • stereotypes
  • assess
  • non-verbal cues
  • body language
  • appearance
  • facade
  • misjudgments
  • unfair judgments
  • decision-making process
  • social situation
  • character
  • repeated interactions
  • open-mindedness
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