IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

in many countries today, crime novels and tv crime dramas are becoming more and more popular. why do you things these tv shows and books are popular what is your opinion of crime fictions and tv dramas

#countries #crime #novels #tv #dramas #books #fictions
It is a fact that
crime
 novels and
TV
crime
 dramas
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 having
more
Correct word choice
larger
show examples
 audience worldwide,
due to
 their capacity to hook the reader and the realism and real facts that are
invove
Correct your spelling
involved
involve
 in the histories.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
 are a public interest, I believe they should be
baned
Correct your spelling
banned
show examples
. the essay will argue
this
, and I will provide my opinion. In the past few years, novels and
TV
 shows about criminology are
rasing
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
 their
audence
Correct your spelling
audience
,
due to
 their capacity to keep the
audence
Correct your spelling
audience
 hooked, increasing the
number
 of the
audence
Correct your spelling
audience
, as
Correct article usage
a consecuence
show examples
consecuence
Correct your spelling
consequence
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
big
developing
Replace the word
development
show examples
 in
this
 industry.
For instance
, Netflix
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 invested in the past 10 years more than 10 billion dollars in the development of
this
 gender.
Furthermore
, many of the histories are real cases, or at least
they
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 authors try to
convice
Correct your spelling
convince
 the audience of that, adding an extra hooker point to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 audience.
Althought
Correct your spelling
Although
, everyone knows about their populism, I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 that
TV
 shows and novels related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
 should be baned,
Becuase
Correct your spelling
because
 it has
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 incredible power of encouraging new generations to commit
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
, leading to,
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
 only a major
number
 of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
, but
also
 violence on the streets. A clear example,
Add a missing verb
is
show examples
a quiz in Argentina
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
 shown that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
85% are feeling bad thoughts after watching
crime realated
Correct your spelling
crime-related
 movies or series.
To sum up
,
Albeit
Change preposition
Despite
show examples
 the increasing
number
 of their
audence
Correct your spelling
audience
,
due to
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 capacity of hooking,
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we can
compared
Change the form of the verb
compare
show examples
 with
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
show examples
 cases. I believe
this
 gender should be
baned
Correct your spelling
banned
show examples
 from
TV
 and libraries because it
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
 to raising the
number
 of
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
 and violence on the streets.
Submitted by jimeilaria on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar
Proofread your essay for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to improve clarity and readability.
content development
Expand on your main points with more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments more effectively.
structure
Organize your ideas in a more logical flow, ensuring smooth transitions between paragraphs.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task and provided a clear opinion.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are present and summarize your main points effectively.
content development
You have made some valid points and attempted to support them with examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: