IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that studying History is very important. Others say that it is irrelevant and has many limitations and should not be studied at all. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #history #limitations
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there is
denying
Rephrase
no denying
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 the fact that studying
History
Use synonyms
 is very important
.
Correct your spelling
While
while
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held belief that the
important
Replace the word
importance
show examples
 of studying
History
Use synonyms
, there is
also
Linking Words
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
show examples
 that opposes it, in my opinion , I consider that studying
history
Use synonyms
 has significant features . On the one hand, studying
History
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 can expose individuals and society to the old eras.
in other words
Linking Words
, they can get lessons from
history
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 and experience and enrich their minds.
In addition
Linking Words
, you can escape their mistakes .
For example
Linking Words
, when reading your
History
Use synonyms
 you see weaknesses and strong points in your origin.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
 studying
history
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 increases
nation's
Correct article usage
a nation's
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 identity and robust the person's feeling of belonging to his roots.it is
also
Linking Words
 possible to say that by reading
history
Use synonyms
 you can go deep into your culture and the traditional life in your family ,
Moreover
Linking Words
, you can compare old and new things together.
For instance
Linking Words
, stay life in a modern era or hairstyle. In conclusion, there are no essay
answers
Correct pronoun usage
that answers
show examples
this
Linking Words
 question .On balance
however
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 I tend to believe that Studying
history
Use synonyms
 offers significant advantages in terms of exposure to true lessons from life ,it is important to escape copying
history
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 and apply nowadays, rather the cancel
this
Linking Words
History
Use synonyms
 Subject from studying which can hide many things
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coherence cohesion
Your essay needs to be divided into clear paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single idea or argument.
task achievement
Make sure your arguments are well-developed and supported with specific examples. This helps in making your points clearer and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on your grammatical accuracy and the variety of sentence structures. There are a few errors in your essay that affect readability. For instance, 'important' should be 'importance' and 'it is also argument' should be 'there is also an argument'.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction sets up the discussion well by mentioning both sides of the argument and giving your opinion.
supported main points
You have tried to provide examples to support your points, which is a good practice to develop a more convincing argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion attempts to balance the arguments and provides a final stance on the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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