IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

#countries #people #history #house #research
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, many people are keen to know about the
history
 of their
place
 of residence.
This
 essay discusses the possible reasons behind
this
 concern
as well as
 some methods that can help individuals with their research. Nowadays, security has become a major concern,
therefore
, an increasing number of individuals are concerned about the
history
 of their houses and buildings. One of the major concerns is knowing whether the
place
 has any
history
 of crime, as it tells a lot about the safety of the neighbourhood. To cite an example, a woman who wants to move into a building
reads
Correct word choice
and reads
show examples
 on the internet that there have been several thefts in that very building, would be able to make a better-informed decision of choosing a safer
place
, in comparison to a man who decided to blindly trust the broker.
Moreover
, it is necessary to know if the house or the building was constructed legally.
For instance
, a recent incident happened where a big society in Gurgaon, India, was built on disputed land, the owner did not disclose
this
 information to the buyers.
In addition
, when the decision came against him, he ran off with all the money, leaving all those people homeless.
Hence
, it is prudent to run a background check to ensure the security of your residence.
Furthermore
, in today’s contemporary era, which is marked by rapid technological advancements, it is very easy to dig up information about anything. Every small incident usually makes it on the web,
therefore
, thorough research could tell a lot about the
place
.
Additionally
, asking the neighbours some questions about the locality or why the previous neighbours vacated the
place
, could provide some more crucial information. Another important step can be to get all the paperwork proofread by a lawyer. In conclusion, many people have become concerned about the
history
 of their house
due to
 various security reasons,
however
, these can be resolved by thorough research.
Submitted by khushichhillar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay could benefit from more diverse examples and extending your arguments with more details.
coherence cohesion
Attempt to balance the length of paragraphs; the second paragraph is considerably longer than the first.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the essay's objective, making it easier for the reader to understand your intent.
task achievement
You provided specific examples which strengthened your arguments and made your points more convincing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Historical research
  • Genealogy
  • Architectural styles
  • Heritage
  • Relics
  • Oral history
  • Archival records
  • Museum exhibits
  • Historical societies
  • House tours
  • Renovation projects
  • Original blueprints
  • Careful documentation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: