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Band 5

Some Countries habe become much richer than others.Richer countries should now heip poorer countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#countries #heip
Rick
countries
 should help the poor
countries
 and there should not be any disagreement on
this
. There are more than 20 rich
countries
 in the world. These
countries
 should help poor
countries
 financially. But rich
countries
 should not send
money
 directly to them it can increase corruption in poor
countries
 since most
of
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poor
countries
 are corrupt.
Money
 should be given to them by loan with very low interest in guidance with institutions like the World Bank or International Monetary Fund (IMF).
For example
, a few years ago
Sri
Lanka
 almost went bankrupt, IMF gave a 2 billion U.S. dollars loan to
Sri
Lanka
.
Sri
Lanka
 slowly recovering, and now it has controlled its inflation and increased its foreign currency reserve. Without an IMF loan,
Sri
Lanka
 wouldn't have survived.
In addition
 to financial help, rich
countries
 should
also
 share knowledge of good governance which is as significant as financial help. Knowledge of good governance can reduce corruption and financial expenses. Some poor
countries
 do not know good expenses they usually spend
money
 on big construction, they should spend
money
 on something that creates jobs.
For instance
 in Bangladesh, the United Kingdom spends around 200 million pounds on the youth population to train in entrepreneurship which makes a lot of young people especially women become self-sufficient in their lives. In conclusion, rich
countries
 should help poor
countries
but
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with proper guidance and monitoring systems in guidance with internal bodies.
Submitted by i.nafiz on

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introduction
Expand the introduction to provide a brief overview of your main points, setting a clearer context for the reader.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly from one point to the next. This will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay.
supported main points
While providing examples, make sure they are well-explained and directly support your arguments. This will make your points more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Expand your conclusion to briefly summarize your main arguments and reinforce your position.
task achievement
The essay responds to the task effectively by addressing the issue of richer countries helping poorer countries and provides relevant examples.
relevant specific examples
You have included specific examples like the IMF loan to Sri Lanka and the UK funding in Bangladesh, which support your arguments well.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion logically follows from the arguments presented and provides a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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