IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Below is a map of the city of Brandfield. City planners have decided to build a new shopping mall for the area, and two sites, S1 and S2 have been proposed. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#city #brandfield #planners #mall #area #two #sites #information #features #comparisons
The provided map describes information on the layout of the city of Brandfield with 2 sites proposed as a new shopping
mall
area
. As is shown by the map, the first prepared
area
 for a new
mall
located
Verb problem
apply
show examples
is located in
north
Add an article
the north
show examples
 of the city,
while
 the other is suggested in the southeast. Looking in more detail,
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the first
area
 called S1,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be surrounded by 4 things
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as road in the north,
river
Correct article usage
the river
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
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 the west side, the railway in the south, and
housing
Correct article usage
a housing
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 estate in the west.
On the other hand
,
S2
Correct article usage
the S2
show examples
 site is located next to
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 along the
north to west
Add a hyphen
north-to-west
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 side,
while
 the
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 side
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 bordered
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 city roads.
In addition
, we should
realized
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
 that
S2
Correct article usage
the S2
show examples
area
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 near to the industrial estate so it is not that suitable for the government to
builds
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 a new
mall
 there.
However
, the new
mall
 should
be build
Change the verb form
be built
show examples
 in another
area
 that
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 been
purposed
Verb problem
proposed
show examples
 simply because the
area
 is more fit.
Submitted by rasyidrahma13 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific details about each site, such as distances or notable landmarks that are nearby. This will enhance the completeness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a clearly defined conclusion in which you summarize your main points. This will make your essay feel more complete and coherent.
task achievement
Elaborate on why you think one site is more suitable than the other by discussing potential benefits or drawbacks in greater detail. This will strengthen your argument and make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
You have made a good effort to provide a clear and organized description of the two proposed sites for the new shopping mall.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates an understanding of how to compare different features of the two sites.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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