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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table and the pie charts illustrate the number of people who visited Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment and the results of surveys of visitor gratification during the same two periods.

The table and the pie charts illustrate the number of people who visited Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment and the results of surveys of visitor gratification during the same two periods.
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The table and the pie charts illustrate the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who visited Ashdown Museum before and after refurbishment and the results of surveys of visitor gratification during the same two periods. What stands out from the table is that after renovation the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 has increased by 18
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
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, from 74.000 to 92.000. What stands out from the pie charts is that before reconstruction the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 was at 15%, and in the next year, it increased by almost
a
Correct article usage
apply
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one quarter, to 35%.
Likewise
Linking Words
, satisfied ones
has
Change the verb form
have
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 increased by
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
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, from 30% to 40%.
However
Linking Words
, dissatisfied humanity plunged to 15%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of very dissatisfied ones halved, from 10% to 5%. And,
finally
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who had no response
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained at 5%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrate" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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