Some people think that people commit crime because of poverty and social problems, while others think it is because of their bad nature. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, the ratio of crimes is increasing sharply. Some individuals believe strongly that the significant reasons of growing up the rate of crimes are poverty and community issues
whereas
some groups of thinkers supporting
the idea Wrong verb form
support
of
the awful intrinsic nature of the person is Change preposition
that
main
way to commit crime.
Examining the former opinion, the primary argument, the supporters think that the Add an article
the main
luck
of resources and social problems lead people to fall Correct your spelling
lack
in
Change preposition
into
crimes
zones. First of all, because Change the noun form
crime
the
Change preposition
of the
poorly
resources of foundation facilities and food produces in a country, citizens Change the word
poor
attending
to start researching for legal ways to acquire certain types of food or money to have Verb problem
tend
suitable
life for themself. Correct article usage
a suitable
In
instance, the UAE government said:” there are 60% of citizens become Change preposition
For
criminal
Fix the agreement mistake
criminals
due to
the poverty levels and the family conditions. Thus
, the government of the UAE work hardly
to decline bad actions by providing a great salary for all people who live in the country.
On the other Change the word
hard
hands
, some Fix the agreement mistake
hand
group
of thinkers suggest that Fix the agreement mistake
groups
null
nature of Correct article usage
the null
person
is a crucial reason to be Add an article
a person
the person
a perpetuators
. Correct the article-noun agreement
perpetuators
a perpetuator
Firstly
, the incorrect treatments
Fix the agreement mistake
treatment
to
children by their parents is the dramatical point to Change preposition
of
lead
their youngsters Wrong verb form
leads
have
a bad character in the future. To elaborate more, when parents do not Fix the infinitive
to have
teaching
their babies the right behaviours and Change the verb form
teach
distinguishing
the appropriate attitudes, they might Wrong verb form
distinguish
to
have unclear Change the verb form
apply
mind
. Fix the agreement mistake
minds
As a result
, the
young children Correct article usage
apply
going
Wrong verb form
go
to
Change preposition
in
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
directions
Fix the agreement mistake
direction
that
because of the unwariness of mothers and fathers.
In conclusion, I would say that both points of Correct pronoun usage
apply
views
are correct because people who have poor backgrounds in childhood Fix the agreement mistake
view
as well as
awful situations drive to establish an evil individual in the future.Submitted by sheikha1996mohammed on
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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to enhance clarity and readability.
content development
Develop the arguments more thoroughly with additional supporting points and evidence. This will provide a more comprehensive discussion.
coherence cohesion
Edit for coherence and flow between ideas. Use more cohesive devices and transitions to connect ideas smoothly.
organization
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion well.
content support
The essay includes relevant examples, such as the reference to the UAE government, to support the main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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