Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.

Old age is golden and it comes with wisdom
as a result
of the experience accumulated over the years, as for whether a
65 year old
Add a hyphen
65-year-old
show examples
is too old to work or should be allowed to continue working is debatable and
alot
Correct your spelling
a lot
should be put to
test
Correct article usage
the test
show examples
before coming up with a conclusive opinion. On one hand, the level of expertise attained by a worker who is over 65 years is precious and should not just be put under the carpet since they can act as mentors and guides to the newly employed
wokers
Correct your spelling
workers
. As the wise men in my village said, old is gold and with age comes wisdom, these older workers can be promoted to managerial levels so that they can direct the organisations
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the direction they have witnessed work correctly in the past.
On the contrary
, I think people over the age of 65 should embrace retirement as there are so many graduates with no jobs yet they have the latest skills needed to navigate organisation through the current society. These talents and skills should be tapped immediately
they
Correct word choice
after they
show examples
leave school.
Therefore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
opportunities should be created for them by people who have worked for a longer time. In my view, the expertise of the
65 year old
Add a hyphen
65-year-old
show examples
worker should be blended with the recent skills of the fresh graduates by giving the older workers managerial and consultancy posts to give them the chance to inculcate the junior workers with values and relevant strategies to run the organisations. The older generation can
also
be encouraged to set up businesses in order to create employment for the younger generation as they
also
continue to impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the very fields they have been practising over the years.
Submitted by shirohly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve the completeness and depth of the response, include more relevant examples and detailed explanations for each point. This will help in fully addressing different aspects of the topic.
task achievement
Work on providing clear, comprehensive ideas within each paragraph. This will enhance the readability and effectiveness of your argument.
coherence cohesion
The coherence and flow of your essay can be improved by using more transitional phrases that link your ideas and paragraphs more clearly.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to more tightly integrate your conclusion with the main points discussed to leave a lasting impression.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and includes the writer's own opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the topic and the conclusion summarizes the argument well, featuring a clear stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory retirement age
  • age discrimination
  • work-life balance
  • economic stability
  • pension plans
  • life expectancy
  • older workforce
  • job market dynamics
  • intergenerational workplace
  • financial pressure
  • mentorship
  • productivity
  • new technologies
  • physical or mental decline
  • personal freedom
What to do next:
Look at other essays: