Creative artists should be given freedom to express their ideas through worlds, films, music and pictures. Some people nevertheless think that government should respect artists’ freedom of expression. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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I strongly believe that the people of art need the freedom to articulate their
though
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through
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alternative sources
such
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as movies, music and
arts
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art
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. But if
this
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craft promotes harmful or negative ideas, I believe ,that the government must use censorship on
such
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works. The issue arises from a multitude of contributing factors, all of which play a critical role in its complexity.
This
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essay will explore the positive and negative aspects of
this
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question. First of all, artistry can stimulate debates about important issues in our lives. Artistic expressions are not only political or historical topics but
also
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social problems in society. In
this
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context, the artists` freedom of expression plays a significant role.
For example
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, the film “Chornobyl”
which
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apply
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was based on the real tragedy in Ukraine in 1986. We had a huge number of conversations after the debut.
This
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movie paid society's attention to
this
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problem.
However
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, I do acknowledge the opposite viewpoint. If
this
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art promotes hate or other negative effects in the World the government should impose censorship on it.
Moreover
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, I think that censorship is vital,( significant, important)for children’s movies and cartoons. In my mind, political cartoons must be available just for adults, because children and adolescents can understand that wrong. In conclusion, I would like to summarize that art is a very powerful tool which nations can use for development
as well as
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for destruction. I strongly agree with
this
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statement. I believe that creative artists should have an adequate amount of freedom to express their ideas.

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task achievement
Try to improve your thesis statement to more clearly express your overall opinion and the points you'll discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Reorganize some of your points to ensure a smoother flow and connection between ideas, which will enhance the logical structure.
task achievement
Consider providing one or two more specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially concerning both sides of the debate.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets a clear framework for the essay and hints at a balanced view, which is a strong point.
task achievement
You've effectively acknowledged opposing viewpoints, which contributes to a balanced argument and is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear conclusion that summarizes your main argument, which is important for leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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