Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
There is no denying the fact that opinions differ regarding whether
people
should be allowed to work
beyond the age
of 65. While
some argue that there should be no age
limit for working, others believe that continuing to work
after 65 should not be permitted. This
essay will discuss both perspectives and provide my opinion on the matter.
To begin
with, proponents of allowing people
to work
after the age
of 65 argue that it benefits countries with aging
populations. Change the spelling
ageing
For example
, in advanced countries like Japan, many people
continue to work
beyond 65, contributing to the economy and filling gaps in the workforce. Additionally
, individuals who choose to work
past retirement age
often have the flexibility to balance work
with leisure, spending quality time with their families. In rural communities, it is common for people
to engage in agricultural activities throughout their lives, demonstrating that work
can be a lifelong pursuit.
On the other hand
, those who support age
limitations for working argue that it can foster social interaction and provide opportunities for younger generations. Mandatory retirement can encourage older individuals to engage in community activities and spend more time with their families, enhancing their quality of life. Furthermore
, it opens up job opportunities for younger people
, helping to reduce unemployment rates and bring fresh perspectives into the workforce.
In conclusion, while
working beyond the age
of 65 has its challenges, the benefits often outweigh the limitations. Rather than making work
after 65 mandatory, it should be an option available to those who wish to continue contributing to society. By allowing individuals to choose, we can respect their autonomy and acknowledge the valuable experience they bring to the workforce.Submitted by rami_agha77 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a strong and comprehensive response to the task. However, you can strengthen your argument by including more detailed examples and further discussing potential counterarguments for each perspective.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence of your essay, consider using more varied transition words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly. Additionally, some paragraphs could be better organized to ensure a more logical flow of ideas.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction clearly sets the stage for the discussion, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your points while providing a clear opinion.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported with relevant examples, particularly the reference to Japan's aging population and agricultural activities in rural communities.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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