Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people believe that children should have the freedom to choose their
prefer
Change the form of the verb
preferred
show examples
activities
in their free
time
,
however
, others think that it should be planned by their
parents
. I believe that these views both present benefits to each
child
such
as
time
management and personality development.
To begin
with, it is appropriate that
parents
organized
Wrong verb form
organise
show examples
activities
for their kids as an assurance that they only include themselves in doing the right
activities
allowed within their age. As a kid, they should be guided by
parents
because it's their responsibility to ensure that each
child
learns in everything they do.
For instance
, scheduling
activities
of the day which sometimes includes watching
televisions
Fix the agreement mistake
television
show examples
, programs should be rightfully chosen and kids should be supervised by
parents
.
Moreover
, planning means showing the importance of
time
management.
Therefore
,it is
sigficant
Correct your spelling
significant
that
parents
are with them assuring that every
activities
Change to a singular noun
activity
show examples
a
child
does is beneficial in their growth.
In addition
to that, it is
also
important to let the
child
choose, because
this
enforces freedom and practice decision-making. It is
also
in line with their independence which is crucial when they become adults.
For example
, letting them have options in what games to play or what sports to join.
Thus
, allowing each of them to do
this
will assist in knowing what they want in life and be familiar with their personalities. In conclusion, I believe that setting up
activities
for children is another way to let them learn how to manage their
time
and do things
according to
their age.
Also
, it should not be forgotten to let them decide on their own because doing
this
will help them
create
Verb problem
make
show examples
decisions by themselves which is significant when they grow up.
Submitted by cng123 on

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coherence cohesion
Support main points with more examples and elaboration for stronger arguments.
task achievement
Ensure clarity of ideas by structuring sentences more clearly.
task achievement
Provides a balanced view of both perspectives, offering insightful points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the argument well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • balanced development
  • expose children to
  • tailored activities
  • promote discipline
  • foster independence
  • genuine interests
  • free play
  • problem-solving skills
  • emotional well-being
  • unstructured time
  • personal exploration
  • structured activities
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