Some think that too much attention and too many resources are given to protection of wild animals and birds. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Some general
people
believe that if Use synonyms
wildlife
gets much Use synonyms
attention
and Use synonyms
resources
, they will get proper protection. I completely agree with Use synonyms
this
viewpoint because only proper Linking Words
attention
can get Use synonyms
wildlife
to be protected.
What Use synonyms
wildlife
mostly requires is proper Use synonyms
attention
, care and Use synonyms
resources
both from the government and the public. Only proper Use synonyms
attention
can help to circulate the conditions of the Use synonyms
animals
in forests and animal conservation centres among the public. If Use synonyms
people
know the needs and sufferings of the Use synonyms
animals
and birds, they will become courageous to protect them from danger. Proper distribution of Use synonyms
resources
can Use synonyms
also
help the government to take action regarding animal protection. Proper Linking Words
guideline
should be implemented about how Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines
resources
will be utilized. Use synonyms
For example
, Linking Words
the
National Geographic telecasts the sufferings of the Correct article usage
apply
animals
in the London Use synonyms
zoo
, andCapitalize word
Zoo
Correct article usage
the
people
and the government learn about that and take Use synonyms
required
action.
Add an article
the required
Moreover
, only proper Linking Words
attention
can raise awareness among the public regarding animal welfare. If Use synonyms
people
understand the necessity of Use synonyms
animals
for the welfare of the environment and human civilization, they will become protective Use synonyms
about
them. Only proper Change preposition
of
attention
can help to achieve Use synonyms
this
. If any Linking Words
animals
do not get proper Use synonyms
attention
from the Use synonyms
news
media, Use synonyms
people
will become Use synonyms
unware
Correct your spelling
unaware
about
their actual conditions. Change preposition
of
For instance
, in the USA, Linking Words
news
Use synonyms
medias
are very Correct your spelling
media
concern
about telecasting Replace the word
concerned
news
about Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
wildlife
, and that has contributed to Use synonyms
save
Emus and other endangered Change the verb form
saving
animals
from extinction.
In conclusion, only proper Use synonyms
attention
from the Use synonyms
news
media can save and protect Use synonyms
wildlife
. Use synonyms
People
should be aware of how to protect them, and how to utilize Use synonyms
resources
to protect them.Use synonyms
Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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introduction
Your essay would benefit from a clearer introduction that outlines your main points more explicitly. A concise thesis statement followed by a summary of the main points can make the essay more engaging right from the start.
logical structure
To further enhance the coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transitional phrases. This will help make the essay flow more naturally and help the reader follow your argument more easily.
supporting points
While you have provided some examples, adding more specific data or studies can make your argument stronger. For instance, mentioning specific initiatives or statistical improvements in wildlife conservation can add more depth to your points.
task achievement
Your task response is commendable. You clearly agree with the statement and provide logical reasons to support your viewpoint.
coherence
The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of your argument, which adds to the overall coherence.
examples
Your use of relevant examples like the National Geographic and news media coverage shows a good understanding of the topic. These examples make your points more relatable and strong.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite