The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The pie charts illustrate the proportion of

sales

Use synonyms

of different devices over the period of one decade.

Overall

Linking Words

, it can be seen from the diagrams the sale of flat-screen TVs, mobile phones, and tablet gadgets hiked,

however

Linking Words

, conventional TVs, desktop computers, and laptops shrunk in both years. Conventional TV

sales

Use synonyms

fall-off dramatically, and tablet

sales

Use synonyms

increased abruptly. It is conspicuous that in 2009, the sale of conventional TV was 34% and it declined to 4% in 2009.

In addition

Linking Words

sales

Use synonyms

of laptops was 20% in 2009, which plummeted to 21% in 2009 and desktop computers

also

Linking Words

performed poorly and the market share was nearly one-fifth, which plunged from 18% to 12% respectively in 2009 and 2019. Probing ahead,

in contrast

Linking Words

sales

Use synonyms

of flat-screen TVs were 8% in 2009 and hiked to more than a quarter (27%) in 2019.

Additionally

Linking Words

, desktop computers were sold by 18% in 2009, after ten years it extended by more than a quarter.

Finally

Linking Words

, tablets augmented 5% to 19% in the respective years 2009 and 2019.

rbtech65Mon Sep 09 2024

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words sales with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

170 words

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The pie charts below show the share of the different brands in 2009 and 2019. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

n the modern world, a university education is essential in order to get a rewarding job and earn a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Having babies later can have more negative than positive effects on young adults? What is pros and cons about having babies laterand how do you think?

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

In order to cover the increasing cost of expenses, more and more people work very long shifts or have two or more jobs.