IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People who have original ideas are of much greater value to society than those who are simply able to copy the ideas of others well. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #value #society #copy
People
 who
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
simply use other
people
's
ideas
 or works are less valuable than
people
 who do their works with their capability and create original
ideas
. Only integrated
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can do
this
 thing. I, personally, could not agree more that
people
 who rely on their ability to do their own tasks or have fresh
ideas
 are really a dedicated
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
This
 essay will
shown
Change the verb form
show
be shown
show examples
 by analysing my personal experience when made a
project
as well as
 my sister when did her assignment at campus. To start with, every
projects
Change to a singular noun
project
show examples
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 an original
idea
 to make the
project
 more interesting by making a new concept. To
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
, me and my team have a job as
project
 planners. At that time, I came
with
Change preposition
up with
show examples
 my own
ideas
 to add a new guest star.
However
, my friend stole my
idea
. Because she
does
Wrong verb form
did
show examples
 not know how to execute the
idea
, the
project
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
failed.
Thus
, it is very important to use our own
ideas
instead
 of using
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
show examples
.
Besides
, it is common
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
campus
Add an article
the campus
show examples
 to not
doing
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
plagiarism, either on
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
 or exams.
For example
, my sister
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an
idea
 to solve
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 problem of floods in Yogyakarta by using 3R (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle).
Nonetheles
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
, her friend
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 that
idea
 for another problem but still in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same lecture. When her lecturer knew about it, my sister's friend got an E on her final report. It indicates that
stole
Wrong verb form
stealing
show examples
people
's
ideas
 is not good to show integrity. As seen above,
people
 who have original
ideas
 are more appreciated in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society than copying other
ideas
.
This
 essay has represented that making projects and doing tasks have to
based
Add a missing verb
be based
show examples
our
Change preposition
on our
show examples
 own capability and ability.
Therefore
, it can be a reflection to not
copy paste
Add a hyphen
copy-paste
show examples
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
 work.
Submitted by wishmeluck  on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. This helps in improving the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Try to make your introduction more engaging and clearly state your position. This ensures your essay is off to a strong start.
supported main points
Support your main points with more detailed and relevant examples. This will help in making your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
clear comprehensive ideas
Avoid grammatical mistakes and improve your vocabulary to enhance the clarity and precision of your ideas.
task achievement
You have provided personal examples to support your points. This adds a personal touch and makes your argument more relatable.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing the idea that original ideas are more valuable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Innovation
  • Creativity
  • Intellectual property
  • Economic growth
  • Cultural evolution
  • Adaptation
  • Diverse perspectives
  • Historical impact
  • Education systems
  • Rote learning
  • Critically evaluate
  • Status quo
  • Foster
  • Imitation
  • Dissemination
What to do next:
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