Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can be suggested?

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It is observed that many
students
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graduate from secondary school without learning about
money
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management
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skills. There are some factors causing
this
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phenomenon, but some solutions can be suggested to alleviate the issue.
To begin
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with,
this
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trend is caused by several factors.
Firstly
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,
students
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have not received any financial education.It is commonly shown that schools or family members do not teach them how to manage their
money
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. Without basic knowledge about budgeting,saving and spending
money
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wisely,they may struggle to make informed financial decisions.
Moreover
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, young
people
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are easily influenced by environmental factors
such
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as peers and cultures. Peer pressure and consumerism in society have an impact on
students
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' spending. They easily build impulsive spending habits without realising the importance of
money
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management
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.
However
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, there are some ways to help
students
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to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
learn
money
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management
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.
Firstly
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, parents and mentors should help them. Open discussions about financial topics, setting a good example with their own financial habits, and offering guidance and support can help instil responsible
money
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management
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skills.
In addition
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, the provision of accessible resources and tools is necessary.
For example
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, online courses,budgeting mobile applications, and interactive websites, can empower young
people
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to learn about personal finance at their own pace.As young
people
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are familiar with new technology, it is essential to introduce
such
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methods to them for their financial
management
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. In conclusion,
although
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lack
Correct article usage
the lack
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of
money
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management
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skills of young
people
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is a growing concern,it can be addressed by various measures.
Thus
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, some actions must be taken to teach them how to manage their finance appropriately
Submitted by yskim3064 on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate points, such as scenarios where poor money management affected young people's lives.
task achievement
Expand on how accessible resources and tools can be implemented effectively in schools and communities.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each part of the argument is fully developed and linked back to the main topic sentence of the paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical errors and avoid repetition of phrases such as 'money management.'
introduction conclusion present
The essay contains a clear and appropriate introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
logical structure
Logical structure is generally maintained throughout the essay, making it easy to follow the argument.
complete response
The topic is addressed satisfactorily, with reasonable points made about both causes and solutions.

Your opinion

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