IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. why do you think it is important to do so? what will be the effect if children are not taught history?

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History and heritage are the core identity of a human being, even though some believe it is not necessary to learn
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 as it has very little impact on the present. But I believe it is quite important to do so. The main reason for history to be important is that it represents each and every individual better. Heritage is not just facts but
also
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 involves investigation and interpretation. Which ultimately can be represented through art, music or language where traditions are created around them.
Hence
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 it is vital that people are at least aware of their own cultures.
Also
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, incidents and conflicts that happened in earlier days teach us lessons that cannot be taught
elsewhere
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.
For instance
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, the facts about World War 2, teach us how we can avoid conflicts and how we can act rationally in
such
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 situations in order to mitigate misunderstandings and world disasters. Another reason could be that the past provides us insights into life in many ways and helps us appreciate where we are today and who we are. Because of that, it is evident that learning about one's own origin is not just a learning process but
also
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 has a huge impact on present lives as well.
On the other hand
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, if kids are not taught history at all they will lack skills
such
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 as thinking, interpretation and artistic skills on many different levels. People with no appreciation for their own culture tend to be less humble.
Consequently
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,
this
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 may end up with societies that include citizens with no gratifications at all.
Moreover
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, that may be a root cause for arguments and misunderstandings, which may eventually create a dent in world peace. In conclusion, it is vital that kids learn about the past from early childhood onward, as it will mostly be what defines and shapes their lives as adults and it will be the one that keeps each and every one grounded, even though it seems like it has a very little impact in the present.

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more concrete examples to illustrate the points being made. While World War 2 is a solid example, additional examples from various cultures or time periods would make the argument stronger and more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are a bit lengthy and could be broken down for better readability. For example, the sentence starting with 'Heritage is not just facts but also...' could be split to make the ideas clearer.
task achievement
The essay addresses both parts of the prompt well, discussing why studying history is important and what the effects might be if children are not taught history.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear opening and a thoughtful summary of the points discussed.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical consciousness
  • cultural heritage
  • heritage preservation
  • forewarned is forearmed
  • historical figures
  • technological advancements
  • analytical skills
  • cultural awareness
  • progression of society
  • historical context
  • intellectual development
  • social cohesion
  • global perspective
  • past atrocities
  • critical thinking
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