Television dominates the free time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others – Do you Agree or disagree ?..

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Some

people

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may argue that

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can lead to

lazyness

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laziness

and discourage

people

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to socialize

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from socializing

show examples

with each other,

while

Linking Words

other

people

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see

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televition

Correct your spelling

television

Remove the article

apply

show examples

entertainment and it's a must to have during the day.

This

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esay

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essay

will argue that

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Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can be really

harmfull

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harmful

for human

being

Fix the agreement mistake

beings

show examples

. On

one

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the one

show examples

hand,

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televition

Correct your spelling

television

can be really useful and

people

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can learn

bunch

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a bunch

show examples

of things

while

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watching it.

for

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example

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example,

show examples

there are some

chaneles

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channels

changes

that airing programs about

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the invironment

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invironment

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environment

environmental

, health, and lots of other learning

meterials

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materials

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from where

show examples

where

Correct word choice

which

show examples

the viewers can benefit from. In

addtion

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addition

human

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humans

show examples

should have an entertainment system during

thier

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their

day to bring joy and rest after a day of work. at least

that is

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my perspective.

On the other hand

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, others can abuse the use of

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and

over use

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overuse

show examples

it, and that for sure is a bad thing.

for instance

Linking Words

if someone is using the

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televition

Correct your spelling

television

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for more

show examples

than six hours and all he watches is

program

Add an article

a program

show examples

that can not be useful so

what

Correct pronoun usage

whatever

show examples

ever like football and sport in

genral

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general

he is with no doubt wasting his time and energy.

Furthermore

Linking Words

being alone in front of the

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all the time could harm humans as it

prevent

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prevents

show examples

people

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from socialising with one another, and that could lead to mental problems as well

social

Correct word choice

as social

show examples

skills problems.

To sum up

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all the above,

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televition

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television

can be very helpful and used as a learning device, but the

usege

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usage

use

of the majority is

abusing

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abuse

show examples

therefor

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Therefore

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

it self

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itself

show examples

is a

benefisial

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beneficial

divice but the way

poeple useing

Correct your spelling

people use

it is what

made

Wrong verb form

makes

show examples

harmfull

Correct your spelling

harmful

azozalsoby2014Mon Sep 09 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it fully with clear examples. For instance, you can strengthen your argument by contrasting different types of TV content more explicitly.

task achievement

Work on fixing grammatical errors and sentence structure to enhance clarity. For example, 'bunch of things' can be replaced with 'many things' and 'televition' should be corrected to 'television.'

task achievement

You can make your introduction more persuasive by clearly stating your position at the end of the first paragraph, e.g., 'This essay argues that television can be really harmful for human beings due to its potential to lead to laziness and social isolation.'

task achievement

You have identified both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are present, which helps structure your essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Television dominates the free time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others – Do you Agree or disagree ?..

Your opinion

Qualities which a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learnt at university or similar academic institutions. Do you agree or disagree with this idea?

Scientists predict that all people will choose to talk the same global language in the future. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Many believe that young people should spend more of their time with their family instead of other entertainment. Do you agree or disagree?

some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people believe that technological advancements have made our lives more complex and stressful, while others argue that technology has made our lives easier and more convenient. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.