IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Human activity has had a negative impact on plants and animals around the world. Somepeople believe that it is too late to do something while others believe that actions can be taken to improve the situation. Discuss both the perspectives and give your opinion.

#activity #impact #plants #animals #world #somepeople #actions #situation #perspectives
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Nowadays we are living in the era of speed and technology,
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of
Correct article usage
the Renaissance's
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Renaissance's
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Renaissance
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 industry.
Thus
this
 phase of revelation will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
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the other
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
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 between us
in
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on
show examples
this
 planet. Some folks believe that it has a negative effect on them and we should get a solution for
this
 problem
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 prefer to delay it
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
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 In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
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 I shall elaborate on
the
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apply
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both
sides
Change noun form
side's
sides'
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 views and I shall give my opinion.
To begin
 with, the improvement of
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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as well as
, the industrial's consumption project utilize petrol after burning it via the huge
angeins
Correct your spelling
engines
engine
 leading to produce
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
pollution,
for example
: the wasted products
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 giant factories poured into the seas or oceans.
Furthermore
,
this
 action has a negative effect on the living creatures inside the water.
Moreover
, the air pollution who is coming from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
vehicles or aircraft
also
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
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on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the greenhouse and
living
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the living
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 animals and plants there.
Besides
, the harmful action on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human
life's
Change noun form
life
show examples
.
On the other hand
, some people proponent to aid in decreasing the damage
on
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to
show examples
 the other species , by giving a solution
for instance
: using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electric vehicles
instead
 of
the
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apply
show examples
gas engines.
additionally
, preventing pouring of wasted products or disposable human
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
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in
Change preposition
on
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 the shore to prevent the threatening factors on the other planet partners To sum it up,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 aren't the lonely inhabitants
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the earth. Plants and animals are
also
 there. The idea of preservation and survival of them it is an
openion
Correct your spelling
opinion
 of some individual,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 see it
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 not an emergency issue. I totally agree with the notion of improving the situation to protect the other
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
;
therefore
, the ecosystem will
also
 be safe.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Concrete examples make your points clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of your essay. Ensure that ideas are connected smoothly and logically from one to the next.
task achievement
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and comprehensibility.
task achievement
The essay attempts to cover both perspectives, which is in line with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
You have provided an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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