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Band 6.5

The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart below shows information about Heart Attacks by Age and Gender in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. • You should write at least 150 words. • You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#information #heart #attacks #age #gender #usa #summarise #features #comparisons #minutes
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of world
illiteracy
 rates in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 year, separated
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 groups by region and gender.
Overall
,
highest
Add an article
the highest
show examples
illiteracy
rate
 is in South
Asia
,
while
 the lowest
illiteracy
rate
 is
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 developed countries.
Females
illiteracy
rate
 is higher than
males
. Some regions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 big gaps between
males
 and
females
 like East
Asia
/Oceania,
while
 some regions
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 smaller gaps between
males
 and
females
 like Latin
American
Replace the word
America
show examples
/Caribbean. South
Asia
 has the highest
illiteracy
rate
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 more than 50%
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
females
 and more than 30%
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
males
. After South
Asia
, the second highest
illiteracy
rate
 belongs to Arab States with approximately 50% in
females
 and almost 30%
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
males
.
Females
Change noun form
Females'
Female's
show examples
illiteracy
rate
 is higher than
males
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every region. Latin American/Caribbean has the lowest male and female
illiteracy
rate
 gap, both male and female
illiteracy
rate
 is around 10%.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 East
Asia
/Oceania has the highest gap between
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
illiteracy
rate
 with under 10%
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
males
 and 20%
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
females
.
Submitted by enver07600 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words illiteracy, rate, asia, females, males with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • occurrence
  • prevalence
  • age group
  • gender disparities
  • notable trends
  • significant
  • comparison
  • discrepancies
  • patterns
  • statistics
  • demographics
  • rate of incidence
  • proportion
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