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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that education should focus on preparing students for future employment. Others argue that the true purpose of education is to provide knowledge and skills that go beyond job preparation. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Education
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 is undeniably a cornerstone of individual and societal progress, yet its primary purpose remains a subject of debate. On one hand, some argue that the primary role of
education
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 is to equip
students
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 with the
skills
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 and knowledge needed for future
employment
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.
On the other hand
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, others maintain that
education
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’s true function is much broader, providing a foundation of
skills
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 and knowledge that extend beyond mere job preparation.
This
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 essay will explore
both
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 perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. One perspective asserts that
education
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 should be predominantly job-focused. Advocates of
this
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 view emphasize the growing competitiveness of the modern workforce, where specific
skills
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 and qualifications are paramount. By aligning
education
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 with the demands of the job market,
students
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 can be better prepared for real-world
employment
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.
For instance
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, vocational training programs or courses in fields like business, engineering, and technology arm
students
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 with practical, industry-relevant competencies that make them highly employable.
Moreover
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, by concentrating on employability, educational institutions can play a pivotal role in supporting economic growth, ensuring that businesses have access to a skilled and capable workforce.
Nevertheless
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, others contend that reducing
education
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 to merely a pathway for
employment
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 is a narrow view. Those who support a broader approach to
education
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 argue that its purpose transcends professional preparation. They believe
education
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 should cultivate well-rounded individuals who can think critically, navigate diverse challenges, and engage meaningfully with society.
For example
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, subjects like philosophy, literature, and history, though not directly linked to specific careers, foster creativity, ethical reasoning, and intellectual curiosity—qualities that are invaluable in many aspects of life, not just in the workplace.
Furthermore
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, a broad educational experience provides
students
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 with transferable
skills
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,
such
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 as effective communication, problem-solving, and adaptability, which are crucial for
both
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 professional success and personal growth. In my opinion, the optimal approach to
education
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 lies in balancing these two viewpoints.
While
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 it is essential to prepare
students
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 for the professional world, an overemphasis on employability risks producing individuals who are technically skilled but lacking in broader intellectual and emotional development. A well-rounded
education
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, which incorporates
both
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 vocational training and academic inquiry, ensures that
students
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 are not only equipped for the workforce but
also
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 possess the creativity, adaptability, and ethical understanding necessary to thrive in various facets of life.
Furthermore
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, the ability to think critically and adapt to new circumstances is increasingly vital in a rapidly changing global economy.
To conclude
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,
while
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 preparing
students
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 for
employment
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 is undeniably important,
education
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 should not be solely defined by
this
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 objective. By blending practical job
skills
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 with a wider curriculum that encourages intellectual growth and personal development,
education
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 can produce individuals who are
both
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 professionally competent and capable of making meaningful contributions to society.
This
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 holistic approach is, in my view, the best way to ensure
students
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 are truly prepared for the future in all its dimensions.

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the argument. Currently, the examples provided are quite general and could be more illustrative to solidify the points made.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs are seamless to maintain the flow of the essay. While the organization is good, enhanced transition phrases could make the logical progression of ideas even clearer.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough discussion of both perspectives on the topic, which demonstrates a complete response to the task.
coherence cohesion
Logical structure and organization throughout the essay are excellent. Each paragraph is well-developed, contributing effectively to the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly setting the stage for the discussion and summarizing the main points effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents clear and comprehensive ideas, showcasing the writer's ability to express thoughts coherently while addressing the task.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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