Some people believe that it is a good idea to continue to work at their old age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals prefer to own
work
inconsistently until they would retire. I agree that if people
want to stay at one job, they could continue outdated work
because many people
are reluctant to change
their known work
, and others are afraid to take risks.
A primary factor contributing to the argument supporting most people
's belief that they want to continue their work
over thirty years. The rationale behind this
is that they prefer to live easier, and they started their career when they were young. For example
, in a 2018 study in the United States, fifty-two per cent of employers still extend their work
in their old age. Therefore
, it is evident that most employers don't change
their occupations. Sometimes, It depends on personal attitude.
Equally important, nowadays, few people
approach carefully to shift to another occupation. This
is because if some employees try to change
business, they may face unavoidable risks because of their inexperience. A clear example of this
can be seen in the last
three years. My ex-partner changed their business sector; he worked in the electrician business but tried to do the medical health sector. He couldn't adjust to a different major. Thus
, it is obvious that everybody wants to change
their career, but they will face some difficulties.
In conclusion, most individuals could continue their work
until they retired. Others prefer to have only one job during their lifetime. As highlighted by some of the above reasons, they couldn't easily shift their position. I choose only one occupation in my life.Submitted by nbogey777 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the topic. This will provide a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single main point. This will improve the logical structure and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
Use more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
You have a clear conclusion that restates your position, which is essential for a well-rounded essay.
task achievement
Your use of examples such as the study from the United States and your ex-partner's experience adds a personal touch to the essay, making it more engaging.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite