Some people argue that spending a lot on celebrations, such as weddings it or birthdays, is a waste of money. Others think it is important for people and society. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
celebrations
are make lots of valuable memories for the people
despite of that it can cost high prices which hard for
Change preposition
to
efforting
Verb problem
afford
due to
some people
discuss about spending excessively is just waste
of money.Correct article usage
a waste
however
,Capitalize word
However
rest
of the Correct article usage
the rest
people
think it is necessary for the society.I believe that sort of this
celebrations
memorable circumstances.
To begin
with, we should do empthazie
Correct your spelling
emphasize
empathize
in
that moment because not everyone can Change the preposition
at
effort
huge Verb problem
afford
celebrations
for their special occusions
Correct your spelling
occasions
due to
they can tend to be harmful
person for the society because Add an article
the harmful
a harmful
financal
issues can force the Correct your spelling
financial
people
to damage surrounding them.The other reason can be environmental issues because huge celebrations
can lead to significant waste and environmental damage.Also
many country
have Change to a plural noun
countries
Add an article
a gun
gun shoot
to show Correct your spelling
gunshots
up
their Change preposition
apply
hapiness
but it is totally mindfulness by cuz of Correct your spelling
happiness
that
someone can be hurt Correct determiner usage
apply
with
that indecent shoot.
on the Change preposition
by
second
hand, Correct word choice
other
celebrations
can make a lot of memory
as l mentioned first paragraph and Fix the agreement mistake
memories
also
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
playing
Wrong verb form
plays
significant
role in cultural heritage.these sort of Correct article usage
a significant
celebrations
shows the identity of country
and pass on traditions to the younger generations.Add an article
the country
a country
Moreover
those events Add a comma
Moreover,
are giving
the opportunities for family and friends to come together.Cultural events can be Wrong verb form
give
benefit
for the economic impacts as well Replace the word
beneficial
such
as catering ,event planning and tourism.Moreover
, events can get away you from your ordinary life to into hapiness
so you can forget and enjoy your life shortly.
Correct your spelling
happiness
To sum up
, money is the most important issue for the
Correct article usage
apply
celebrations
and it can lead to indivudual
economic issues Correct your spelling
individual
otherwise
everyone willing to celebrate and collect lots of memories.In my opinion
money is just Add a comma
opinion,
second
option and the important thing is Correct article usage
the second
the
enjoying Correct article usage
apply
of
life.Change preposition
apply
Submitted by temelmelisa9 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Work on your introduction and conclusion to ensure they clearly state your position and summarize your main points.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help guide the reader through your essay.
supported main points
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on them to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments.
complete response
Your essay addresses both viewpoints and gives a personal opinion, which is good for task response.
clear comprehensive ideas
You make some good points about the cultural significance and economic impact of celebrations.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.