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Band 6

Is freedom of speech necessary in a free society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#freedom #speech #society
In the modern world
freedom
 of
speech
 is one of the most important rights. Some
peope
Correct your spelling
people
 believe it is necessary to allow speak everything that you want,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 do not find it important. In my opinion
a
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freedom
 of
society
 is the main factor of
free
Add an article
a free
show examples
society
, by providing some arguments I will try to prove it.
Firstly
,
freedom
 holds an important human value, because every person has the right to self-expression and self-affirmation.
Freedom
 is needed to demonstrate human thought,
for example
, social networks are the most important source of information
that is
 built on
freedom
 of
speech
 and without
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
 it is impossible to imagine our daily life. That's why it's important to maintain the right to say what you think.
Secondly
,
freedom
 of
speech
 is in fact the most important element of the country's development, because if you forbid people to show their thoughts and introduce a system of scams for
this
,
this
 will lead to not the best decisions on the part of the government, since people will be forbidden to express their opinion on the introduced changes.
For example
, in totalitarian countries
such
 as North Korea, where
freedom
 of
speech
 was banned, terrible policies developed and
as a result
 the country became isolated from the world
due to
 the established political system. In conclusion, I would like to say that
although
 not everyone will probably agree with my opinion, it seems to me that there are exceptional advantages in the fact that people have a code of
speech
, since it is impossible to imagine the life of a
democrasy
Correct your spelling
democracy
democratic
society
 without
freedom
 of
speech
,
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 since
this
 is the fundamental aspect of a free
society
.
Submitted by viktoria.popova92 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and improve clarity. For example, change 'peope' to 'people,' and 'freedom of society' to 'freedom of speech.'
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the variety and complexity of your sentence structures to enhance readability and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing your ideas effectively.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, such as the role of social networks and the situation in North Korea.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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